Some pretty unhappy people in the world today. I look around me and feel so sad for the ones who are so full of judgement and condemnation. To me, that is a clear sign of their distress. I don’t know how many times I have talked about expectation and shoulding, but it appears I am about to again.
Folks, no one will see things the same way you do every time. Perspectives are similar to fingerprints in that no two peoples are the same. We are shaped by different experiences, different personalities, different responses to trauma and stimuli.
Let me make this as clear as I can.
HEALTHY, HAPPY PEOPLE, DO NOT SPEND THEIR TIME CRITIQUING AND JUDGING OTHERS!
Good grief the hate is strong these days. I am seriously just lonely for people who can live life with contentment and peace, while lifting people up, rather than tearing them down.
I used to feel defensive. I used to want to stand up to the haters. But my perspective has changed. I do not seek confrontation. What would I say to someone so filled with anger, grief, shame, hatred, and/or resentment? People who are content and happy with their lives do not go around treating others this way. Social media is especially conducive to such harsh judgments, as people don’t have to face any real life consequences for their mean behavior.
But here’s the thing. Happy people, healthy people, they wont be judging you. They will be lifting you up. Offering helpful advice. Using their empathy. Understanding that we all have different circumstances and perspectives.
I watched a group of “empaths” attack another woman for saying that she isn’t attracted to animals today. It hurt my heart to see so many people claiming to be “healers and lightworkers” tearing someone down like that. Telling her she wasn’t an empath and didn’t belong in the group. Feels a bit like a “check the log in your own eye” kind of moment honestly. I watched their judgement and condemnation with pity for them. Thinking so high of themselves when they can’t see the glaring truth of their misery and how they are allowing their unhealed cuts to bleed on those who haven’t hurt them.
It hurts my heart to see people being so mean and judgmental of each other. Why are we lashing out at one another? We must make an effort to heal ourselves, and try not to concern ourselves so much with the behaviors of people we have never even met, and never will. It goes for personal relationships too, but I am talking about the uninhibited urge to just start demeaning and belittling someone who doesn’t think or act just like we do.
Happiness, contentedness, joy, whatever you want to call it, comes from within us, not from other people modifying their behavior to accommodate us. The more someone lashes out, the meaner they are, the more sadness I feel for them. So afraid to face their own demons that they have to distract themselves by attacking others who are just posing an innocent question. Why do we as humans feel so compelled to expect others to behave how we think we would, when most of us aren’t even happy with who we are?
It is our responsibility to seek the healing we require. It is our responsibility to be accountable for ourselves. It is not our responsibility to tell others how to live. It is not our responsibility to judge, shame, and bully others into thinking that our way of thinking is the only right way. If we go around thinking that if others just thought and behaved differently, we would be happy, then we are in for a world of shock and hurt when reality hits. Nobody is capable of making us happy. Nobody is capable of healing our wounds, or padding the world so we can hide from them forever.
WE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN HEALING. WE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN HAPPINESS.
No one can do it for us.
And while we are healing, there is no reason we can’t be kind and empathetic to what others are going through. As a matter of fact, you might be surprised at how far a little kindness goes in healing your own damaged self. Its pretty amazing the transformation that takes place in us when we replace judgement and hatred with kindness and compassion.
Next time you feel compelled to shame, belittle, or insult someone, maybe consider what is in your own self that is causing you to lash out at others, and maybe, just maybe, try to find a little empathy and kindness for them instead.
The amount of healing that takes place when we replace the hatred with love is indescribable.
The amount of healing that takes place when we respond with compassion rather than judgement is not something you can imagine until you have experienced it.
Just humor me and try it. Next time you feel like lashing out at someone. Judging them. Shaming them. Telling them they don’t belong in your group. Try responding with love instead. See how it increases the joy in your own heart. Hatred and judgement do not increase joy, for anyone. They increase the hatred and judgement. If you want a healthier world, start with yourself, and check your hate at the door. If you want a healthier world, focus on lifting people up, finding empathy and compassion, and treating them with love. It will change you. It will make you happier. It will make you healthier. It will steal less of your limited time and joy on this Earth. If for no ones sake but your own, try love. It feels so much better than hate. Try compassion. It adds so much more to life than judgement does. Try empathy. It is good for ones heart to put ourselves in anothers shoes for a moment of reflection.
Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be accepted and fit somewhere. Think about how you would hope to be treated, and then treat others as well as you would want to be treated.
Just try it. Check the hate and try Love. It will transform you.
I want to talk about boundaries. I spend a great deal of time helping people, particularly women, heal from what has hurt them. In this process, I have become aware of a couple things. Today I want to talk about “narcissism”. Or maybe perceived narcissism. The reason I say perceived, is because by medical standards, many of the people whom one may label a narcissist, really don’t fit the criteria for a diagnosis. We have come to a point in society where we tend to call anyone who doesn’t agree with us, or operate on our level of empathy, a narcissist. This is simply not true. Only a very small portion of the people who are being labeled as narcissists, actually are by medical standards. That being said, there are so many unhealthy and broken people in the world, that everyone and anyone has the potential to display a narcissistic tendency or two. Alot of people are not going to love what I have to say today, but I am going to say it anyway. If you are attracting narcissists, the problem is not with them. It is with you. Let me explain.
I consistently hear empaths talking about this curse they have. That they attract all the unhealthy and broken people. That they are constantly being victimized. That they continue to be nothing but a good person, but time and time again they are abused and treated poorly.
Let me tell you how to break that chain.
It is general knowledge these days, that energy is in everything. Raise your vibration. Broken and unhealed people attract lower vibrations, because they vibrate lower. When you raise your vibration high enough, they are no longer attracted to you.
Now don’t misunderstand this. People who WANT to heal and have a higher frequency will still be attracted to you, possibly more than ever before. It’s the low vibing abusers who do not wish to change that will be repulsed by your light.
Broken people attract broken people.
So many times I hear people talking about all they do for someone, and not getting the desired response being a huge disappointment to them. They do everything they can think of to ‘heal’ a partner or make their life better, and consistently get hurt. Do you know why?
Its called codependency. If you are struggling with doing and doing for someone, and finding yourself disappointed time and again because they have not behaved how you expected in return, I highly recommend the book “Codependant No More” By Melody Beatty. Here is a link to it at Amazon. (No, I am not being paid to write this).
Having expectation of others to change or to behave a certain way because of something we did for them is controlling and abusive in itself. Healthy people are not attracted to unhealthy people, so if you are finding yourself feeling as though you are all right, and they are all wrong, consider that it is possible that you are being just as controlling, in a much sneakier and more manipulative way. I have a right to say this. I was this person before I got the healing I needed. It hurts to hear. It makes us feel defensive and angry. It makes us feel attacked. The simple fact is that sometimes the truth hurts.
Healthy people don’t date unhealthy people. It’s just not natural. When you are strong, healthy, and know your boundaries, you won’t tolerate someone treating you poorly. This weeds out the abusers and narcissists rather quickly.
They just don’t want to change. They don’t want to work that hard, and they will quickly move on to someone more easily influenced.
Heal yourself. Learn who you are, and what your boundaries are, and then stick to them. We teach people how to treat us. Tolerating anything less than what is best for us, teaches people they can get away with treating us poorly, and attracts people who don’t know any other way. If you want to attract healthy people, you have to get healthy.
People are broken.
EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. US.
Potential partners, friends, family. Everyone will do something differently than you would at some point, and if we are not healed, it can be taken quite personally, even when it has nothing to do with us as individuals at all.
So here’s the deal. You have to know your boundaries, and you have to uphold them. You have to teach people how to treat you. The ones who want to be in your life will do the work to meet you in the middle. The ones who are looking for control over something because they have no control of their own lives, will move on to someone easier to control.
So many people are afraid that if they speak up or stand their ground, that they will offend someone, and that someone will leave. I see it a ton in dating situations. “Well he did this, but I am afraid if I tell him how I feel, that he won’t like me anymore”
If being honest about who you are and what you need is going to send a potential partner running the other way, shouldn’t they head out? I mean, if they can’t accept you for who you are now, then what happens when the lustful feelings wear off? A partner who is worth keeping around, wont run off and abandon you if you tell them that your feelings were hurt or a boundary was crossed.
They will do one of two things. They will try to function within your boundary, out of respect for you, or they will turn it on you, get defensive, and leave. If you lose a partner for standing your ground about something important to you, they were never going to be a healthy partner in the first place! In a healthy relationship, compromise is a real thing, and you may have to meet them in a healthy middle on your boundary, but sacrificing who you are to keep a partner happy is absolutely unacceptable if you want a healthy relationship.
So many people I know are afraid to date, because every potential partner has red flags and warning signs. Those are obviously not to be ignored, but again, WE ARE ALL BROKEN IN SOME WAY. We are bound to have some coping skills. Not every bad behavior is a reason to scream “NARCISSIST!”. Sometimes the person has just never learned anything different, and if they are willing to hear your boundaries, then they can obviously change and grow. Accountability goes a long way. Someone who respects you will try to be accountable for the ways in which they treat you. If they can not hear you tell them how you were hurt. If they can not find it in them to respect your boundaries, then out the door they go. Why would we tiptoe around on eggshells, not being true to ourselves, to try to impress someone? If we can’t be ourselves now, how will we ever be later? We teach people how to treat us, and when we know our worth and refuse to tolerate any less, we push out the ones who would disrespect us.
If you feel like all you ever attract is narcissists, then maybe, just maybe, you need to look at why that is. It is not because you are an empath. It has to do with your own coping skills and unhealed behaviors. When you heal yourself, you raise your vibration. When you raise your vibration, you attract higher vibrating folks. Like attracts like. If you are attracting very unhealthy people, consider what it is in you that needs to be healed, and you wont have to worry so much about whether someone is abusive or not. They will weed themselves out.
I can tell you from experience. I used to have all the codependent behaviors. I used to think ‘poor me, why do I attract all the abusers and losers”. Turns out, I was as broken as they were, I just hid it differently. When I healed, and held myself to a higher standard, they just seemed to disappear.
They don’t want to work that hard. Your light draws attention to their shame. They look elsewhere, for someone who won’t make them so aware of their shame. They look for control in someone weaker than them, so that they can ignore the lack of control they have in their own lives.
Heal yourself. Know your own boundaries, and stick to them. Abusers are looking for weak people that they can control. Get healthy, so that you may be strong and not an outlet for their need for control. They will either stop trying to control you or they will get tired of trying with no results and they will move along to someone they can control.
Being an empath does not doom you to a life of abusive relationships. Being unhealthy does.
Heal yourself, and you will find that all of your relationships get healthier.
Light attracts light. Dark attracts dark. Be the light, so that the darkness will want to run from you.
Love is the highest vibration. Pure, unconditional, unexpecting, love. If you want to attract the light, set aside your expectations and conditions, and focus on growing the love in you, so that your light will repel the dark.
As many of you know, I have had these dreams of a rescue ranch for many years. I built my non-profit business, and learned some hard lessons. When I walked away from the non-profit, I kept my business name and logo. The rest of the non-profit status, they chose to keep, but since they had a different vision than I, and wanted to take it in a different direction, that was not a big deal to anyone.
I have continued along my path, confident that if I trust in God, the timing will happen when it is right. I have longed and ached for the moment that I would get a sign that it was time to start. I have had patient weeks, and less patient weeks. I have had whims that I followed through on, and some that I didn’t. I still believe that I am meant to continue to write and educate about minerals and nutrition, but clearly that got sidelined for a hot minute or three.
Lately, my life has been astounding. I know that my attitude has a lot to do with that, but I am able to maintain my attitude, because I finally found the freedom in submission. It is absolutely amazing how smoothly things flow when you finally submit to the idea that all is as it is meant to be, everything will happen when it is meant to, and that I don’t have to fight so hard. I can submit to just enjoying the journey, and things seem to be going better than ever.
I grew up without a ton of “extra”. We all have our hard times, but for the longest time, due to my circumstances and an unhealthy perspective, I really thought I had been born into this life simply to be punished for something that I must have done in a previous life. There was no other explanation I could think of for all the “awful” things that seemed to happen to me. Until that glorious day when I was shown why all of those things happened, who they were preparing me to be, and that rather than cursing me, they were gifting me some of the most important tools and education that I would need for my purpose. That was a game changer. Since that day I have dreamt grand dreams for myself. And, since it was shown to me, I believed that despite my shortcomings, and the fact that it seemed so much bigger than me, it would all come true.
And I started trying. Fighting with everything I had to force this vision into reality.
But it wasn’t the right time.
I waited, I worked on anything I could think of. I still do. Anything that will get me one step closer, is a great way to spend my time.
Little things happen here and there to show me that it is worth waiting on. That I am on the right path despite feeling like I am making no progress.
And things go wrong. I have learned that patience really does pay off in this respect.
Remember, this is coming from a woman who once thought that her purpose was to suffer through this lifetime in punishment.
So imagine my overwhelm when I step back and look today. I have the most supportive and loving husband that I ever could have hoped for. I have all of my basic needs met, and then some. For the first time in my life, I have “things” that I never pictured having. I have a beautiful sewing\embroidery machine. I have a lovely camera with which I can take glorious Eagle shots. We live on the most fabulous acreage with absolutely artistic views all around us. When I take a moment to step back and look at my life today, I am overwhelmed and astounded at how much better it is than I ever imagined it would be, and I still have so much left! If it is already better than I ever imagined it could be, my goodness, can you imagine how great it can get???
The point of all this. Well, it is twofold. Not only do I want to encourage you to keep your head up and keep plugging through the most hopeless and desperate of times, but I also want to talk about what I have been up to. The blessings that just keep unfolding. I have been sewing like crazy. Lots of children’s clothing and some practice items for the products I plan to list in my shop. I recently started a huge scrunchy project for a friends daughter. Loving my new machine, though it is slightly “above my pay grade” and I definitely have some things to learn.
As usual, and speaking of things “above my pay grade”, I still love taking photos of Raptors, but my camera kinda crapped out on me. My sweet husband surprised me with a very nice camera for Christmas. Now I just have to learn how to use it effectively. It has been gray and cloudy here literally every day since I got it, which can prove quite frustrating at times, but for the most part, I roll with it pretty well. Blue skies will be back eventually, and in the meantime I can practice low light settings.
I started a group on Facebook for people with food sensitivities. I was spending so much time talking through the beginning stages of accepting a food intolerance, that I decided to stick them all in one place. So far, so good.
We added a kitten to our family. After having lost two pets since march, I just couldn’t handle it. I needed a kitten. Enter Simon Oliver. I have never met a cat with so much personality and curiosity. He has made himself a niche here, among my geriatric pets. His energy gets to be a bit much for them sometimes, but for the most part, he has won them all over. I absolutely love watching him and my small pup play. He just fits in perfectly with us. Also. He plays fetch. I have never met a cat that plays fetch. When I make my fire in the mornings, I wad up a ball of paper and toss it for him. His favorite game. Ever since he watched me play fetch with the dog, he brings the paper ball back! Too cute, and too smart!
And the big news.
Strays have been coming around alot lately. And the big news in strays is goats. These two sweet babies showed up in our pasture almost a week ago. Hubby found them when he got home from work. They came right up to him, and right up onto my porch with him. We stuck them in our barn and started the search for their family. We live in a pretty tiny community. I notified all of the local establishments. I notified the local animal shelter and animal control. I made calls. I posted on Facebook. I spent hours knocking on doors, to the extent that the next day when I continued knocking, people already knew about the goats and I was getting a lot of “Oh You have the goats…”
I even called local breeders.
No one knows who these goats belong to. It is absolutely bizarre. And so, we have accepted a few things about the goats.
The goats are staying with us if there is ANY way we can manage it.
The goats are a sign that it is time to take the next step.
Hopefully, someone will show up and claim them, but it is starting to look more and more like someone dumped them for whatever reason.
And so, if no one shows up to claim these goats, the livestock rescue has begun!
I have gotten so many signs this last few months that it is time to take the next step. I have prayed and prayed on it, and not knowing what that step is, or how to make that step. And then goats showed up, and made it seem obvious, logical, and not as hard as I was making it.
And so now, I start learning how to care for dwarf goats.
And it is exciting.
We are calling them “Lickety” and “Split” because I made a joke, and it stuck.
Every day, I dream about my rescue ranch. I dream about the lovely foods I will feed to my guests, as I teach them what a blessing a nutritional diet is. I dream about the beautiful cabins they will sleep in, and the refreshing scenery they will wake up to. I dream about the hurting humans and the broken animals helping each other to heal. I long for the day that I see it all come to fruition. I patiently wait until I am called to make the next move.
I can’t believe it is goats! I am deeply excited to see what this chapter brings. Good things are happening folks. Good things!
So much love and light to you all! Until next time, I hope that the blessings rain down on you too!
I am pretty lucky to have this blessed little life of mine. I sit here in this quiet, snowy countryside wonderland, and life is peaceful. I am lucky to be privileged with this peaceful life. I often relish the fact that I am living a 20 mph life in a 60 mph world. For the most part, I choose when to engage in the worlds madness. And lately, I haven’t chosen a whole lot of that chaos.
However, It does get lonely sometimes, and naturally, I turn to the outside world. Today, as I sit here in my quiet stillness, I am consumed with the nagging little four letter word “hate”. I have come to believe in my life, that Love is the only thing that really matters in the end. I want to be the change I wish to see in this world, and to do that, I must put more love out there every day. I am struck by the amount of hate in the name of “good” that I see. Hate can never come from “good”. Hate is hate, plain and simple. I don’t care if you are hating the right, hating the left, or hating for the sake of hating, when you share your judgmental memes and opinions, full of hatred and condemnation, all I see is hate. I know you. I know you as a loving human being. I know you as a person who wants to see more love in the world. I know you as someone who believes in peace, and then I see you spew your hate. Righteous, indignant, judgmental hate, and all I see is hate. We hate over politics, we hate over individual opinions, we hate with half the story and we hate with the whole story. It is becoming the mantra of our nation. Who can we hate today? Who can we smear today? Who can we be better than today? Who can we shame today? All this hatred in the name of “good”. It is so misguided. If you want to be the change you want to see, you need to be focusing on spreading love, spreading joy, and spreading light. Hating, judging, and shaming people who don’t behave as we see fit is just ugly. It is ugly on us. It makes people look at us and see hatred, darkness, and judgement. Is that who you want to be? Is that what you want the world to see? Righteous hatred is still hatred. Every time you spew it, the rest of us see hate. We see darkness.
You think your hate is justified. You think your hate will fix a situation? Somehow improve it? Since when has hate ever improved anything? Energy is multiplied. If we put out hate and judgement, that is the energy the world receives from us. We see ourselves as loving, empathetic people, until we don’t like what someone else thinks or does, and then we hate. Here is a little secret. You can’t have deep down sustainable joy if you are hosting hate. Even righteous hate. Its still dark and ugly. I am sitting here, in a somber state, feeling sad, that so many of the people that I have seen as loving, gentle souls in my life, have so much hate and judgement spewing from them.
Every time we hate, the division grows larger. The hate grows more vast. It expands, it multiplies. We judge those who are different from us, creating more judgement, more darkness, and even more divide. Take a minute, scroll through your feed. How much judgement and hate have you spewed? You see it as righteous hate. I see ugly, dark hate.
We want a change. We all want a change. And so, we hop on social media and spew more hate. We take up a cause and blindly rally for it at any cost, without seeing how the rest of the world see’s the hate we are spewing. We think ” I just cannot tolerate this behavior” and we spew it out on social media.
It doesn’t matter which side your hate is for or against. It is still hate. You feel justified in your hate because its “the right thing to do”. Since when is hate EVER the right thing to do? And what makes your “right thing to do” the standard of right and wrong? Hate solves nothing. Hate continues to divide us. Judgement divides us. Nothing gets done when we are busy hating. If we really want to be the change we want to see, then we need to love. We need to summon some maturity and set aside our childish hatred. We need to listen to each other and find compromises and solutions, rather than shaming and condemning one another. We need to take a minute to hear the other side and find a common ground. We need to compromise and meet in the middle. We need to stop for a minute, and consider, before we hit that mighty little share button, if we are spewing love or hate. How does anyone think that we can create good from hate? How does anyone think that we can create light from darkness?
People whom I have sat with, dreamed of a better way with. I see them spewing hate. People whom I have known to be the peacemakers and the healers, they are spewing hate. I implore of you, please, look at your words. Look at what you are putting out there. Does it have hate in it? Does it have judgement in it? Does it make you look like you think that you are better than others? We are all humans. We all have some things wrong. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. is wrong some of the time. Every single one of us has made mistakes, had differing opinions, and see’s things through a different color glasses than our neighbor. Each of us has a unique life experience, and those experiences shape us, and that makes each of us as unique as our fingerprints. You cannot possibly understand where each person is coming from when they form their opinions and make their decisions. I imagine if we shined a spotlight on your life, we could all find things to hate too. No one is ever going to see every issue in the same light you do. You will be lonely and sad if you limit your friends to only those who agree with you. All these “if you support such and such just unfriend me now”. Really? If I unfriended everyone who suggested that I unfriend them over a difference in opinion, I could just quit social media.
Come on people. I know you see yourselves as the lovers, healers, and peacemakers. Can we just be the bigger person? Can we agree to let the hate stop with us? Can we roll right past it and look for some love to share?
The media will always strive to divide us. They rely on ratings, and drama gets ratings. It is the nature of the beast. We cannot let them fuel our emotions and drive hatred in us. We must rise up above the hatred, and start spreading the love. Forget their ratings. Forget their emotionally driven “news’ that is manipulated to draw us in, get us emotional, and force us to take sides. I know we can do it. I know if you saw what I do when I see your latest post come across my feed, that you would be sad that I think of hate when I think of you. That I don’t see a peacemaker, I see a hater. I can’t be the only one. I see judgmental, emotionally driven responses. I see division. I see darkness and hatred. I know you, and I know that your heart carries love, and I wish you could know how the hate darkens it. I wish you could see the hate and vow to become a lover again. I long to see the healers and the peacemakers sharing love and light again.
Its lonely in my little 20 mph life sometimes, but when I venture out of it, I see hate and judgement so rampant, so prevalent. And I see a nation of people who are longing for a change. I am stuck in the thought that this hate wont bring the change we wish to see. We must remember that love is what is important. We must create more light to combat the darkness.
And so for today, I step outside my comfortable little 20 mph life, hoping and pleading with you to see the hate that you spew for what it is. To see it as the disease that it is, spreading rampantly though us. I am pleading for people everywhere to see the hate for what it is and decide to bury it. Cover it with a light that shines so bright, that it retreats to the darkness where it belongs. Let it start with you. Decide to go against the grain. Decide to hop off all of those righteous political and spiritual bandwagons, and just start thinking about how you can add light to someones day today. Scroll past the judgement, block the hate. Let it die with you. Bury it, and let the love shine from you instead. Please.
Can we all just please try? Try to judge one less person today. Try to bless one more person today. Spread your love. Spread your light. Let the hate die at your fingertips.
This post is rather out of character for me. I rarely give things like hate the time of day. I am uncomfortable as I hit publish, because I really want to be a source of loving light. I really want to be the change I wish to see, and right now, I just wish to see a stop to the rampant hate. And so, today I beg. I plead. I implore of you, to just take a look within.
Hello my friends. Welcome. I know. I know. You are expecting to read about minerals, right? I haven’t forgotten.
Phosphorus will be coming soon. But, with the busyness of summer, I just haven’t had the time to do proper research and bring you a well understood piece. It’s coming though. In the meantime, this site is about so much more than just nutrition. It’s about all aspects of healing, self care, and stability. Today, I want to talk about something that pertains to all of those things. In the past, I have taken the time to write about people who inspire me. Those posts have always been some of my favorites to write. Today I want to tell you about one of those people.
Time flies when you are making friends, right? When I met Sandy, she was in a hard place. She had put out a request on Facebook that really touched my heart. It was pertaining to one of her children, and in an attempt to respect her privacy, I think that is all I am willing to tell you. I reached out to her, because it was something that I had experience with. Something important to my heart. It was a subject that I thought I could help with. And a friendship was born.
You know me. A woman of many words, I really had to be careful not to overwhelm this poor woman with all the tidbits I wanted to share. She was, after all, nearly a perfect stranger. To my knowledge, we had one very important detail in common, and that was it. I did not want to blow her up with tidbits of advice. *practice self control here woman*. But years have passed now, and I have had time to get to know her a little better.
What an inspiration she is! As time passed, I saw more and more that we had in common. I have watched as hardships have come, and been overcome. I have seen how her family pulls together in the times it is most important. I have witnessed her bravely and candidly, sharing her ups and downs, so that she can be an inspiration to others who may need to hear it “today”. I have seen the things that we have in common multiply over the years. I have found myself comfortably approaching her with my ‘oh so wordy’ tidbits now. And I find myself in a position to say that she is someone whom I truly admire. Someone who we all could learn a thing or two from.
This incredible woman is raising four beautiful children. She and her husband work hard, together, to be the foundation that any strong family needs, regardless of what comes their way. I am blessed with a strongly supportive husband, who celebrates every little victory with me. It is so refreshing to see another couple working so hard, together! I love that he supports all her crazy little endeavors, just like my husband does. I recently found out that she also has a love of gardening somewhere in there too, and what a door for endlessly long paragraphs that has led to. Sometimes I just can’t shut up! My point is, as time goes by, this woman whom I admired the day I met her, has only proven what I always suspected. She is pretty darn amazing. Full of perseverance and always trying to better herself and the world around her.
Recently, she started selling POSH products. For those of you who are not familiar with POSH, they are delightful skincare products, sold through direct marketing. Sandy started doing mud mask videos, and I realized another thing we have in common. A love for that which pampers us. Particularly mud. And particularly that which is more naturally based. Enter POSH. I was hesitant to ask for samples at first, but she posted a Chunky Bar of bath soap that looked so divine, I just couldn’t hold back any more, and I reached out and asked for samples. She was so happy to send them to me. Mailed out the same day, I had them within the week. Summer is busy as usual, and I didn’t get around to really checking it out, until this week finally. I had done a little perusing in the catalog, and online, but I had it in my head that I was going to wait until I could take the proper time for a good pampering, before I broke into the samples. I am so glad I did!
Last night, after a late evening of running errands in town, I decided it was time. I have had a busy week in the yard and garden, and I really felt like I could use a good, deep clean. I had clay everywhere. On my face, in my armpits, and on the bottoms of my feet. It has been hot here, and all the hard work had me feeling like a deep pore cleanse would feel great. And I was right. It did not disappoint. I got all my delightful POSH samples. I got everything I needed. After all, you can’t really walk around once there is clay on your feet. So I sat over the side of my tub while my feet soaked it in, trading the minerals in clay for the toxins that so desperately need out. The Cackle Spackle on my face was so nice and refreshing! Cooling peppermint. Like any mask, it gets a bit itchy as it dries, but that goes away if you can be patient, and the end result is so worth it. A glowing clean face. I climbed in the shower to wash off all that clay. I was delighted with the BFF (Best Face Forward) gentle exfoliating face wash. That one is definitely going on my wish list! The sample pack I got included all the necessary lotions and moisturizers for after my pampering shower. Complete with a delightful face moisturizer, an absolutely lovely Fresh Creamy Milk body butter, and last, but not least, the perfect hand lotion for a gardeners needy hands. The Big Fat Yummy hand cream was the most delicious Blackberry and Jasmine scent.
Midnight was probably not the best hour to start this personal spa session. I found myself wide awake and completely refreshed after all of this delightfulness. Thankfully, it was a relaxing kind of refreshed, and I actually did get to sleep relatively soon afterwards. The best part though, was this morning, when my hubby came in to give me a kiss goodbye before he left for work. In my dreary, mostly asleep state, I vividly recall hearing him say “you smell good”. What a great way to wake up! My husband is never short with the compliments, but it was so nice to hear that, first thing in my day, and to really wake up and feel so refreshed and clean, and know that he is right, I do smell good, is a great way to start my weekend.
And what a weekend it shall be. I decided to take a break from the garden today. Don’t want to wash all this fresh off with weed pulling. I have been longing to write, but am not prepared to do my next mineral quite yet. I can’t think of a more perfect way to write about well being, than to highlight my home spa experience. If you haven’t ever treated yourself to a home spa experience, seriously. Try it. You are worth it. You deserve the ten minutes, or the hour, or however much time you can afford to spare for it. I know you are busy with children and work and responsibilities, but honestly, the world will keep turning if you take a few minutes to refill your fuel tank. An hour spent caring for you, can make all the difference in the world! So many women think that they don’t have the time, or can’t afford it. Some simply never thought to try it, or don’t know how to begin. Just jump in! Light a candle, run a bath. Smear some clay on your face, and enjoy ten minutes of nourishing you. I promise you, the world will keep turning, and it may turn a little brighter when you remember that you are worth a little pampering.
Personal health is so much more than diet, or spirituality, or eliminating chemicals from your life. Personal health is about all of those things and more. Take ten minutes to care for your body. We get out what we put in. If you spend all day running after your kids or other various responsibilities, and never take time for you, you will burn out, and fail to be good at caring for anyone. Caring for yourself is one of the most important factors in being a person who can make a change in this world. Somebody, I have no idea who, once said “you can’t pour from an empty cup”.
And so, today I am giving a shout out to Sandy. Who tries every day, to remember to fill her cup full, so that she can be a source of inspiration and light to others. We could all take a page from her playbook. Her transparency is refreshing. Her drive, exhilarating. This is a woman who won’t give up or let life stop her from chasing her dreams. A woman who, even on her hardest days, manages to bring a ray of sunshine into the world. I am thankful to call her my friend. And so, today I send out a “Cheers” to her. I want to use this space and time, to thank her for putting up with my endless, long winded messages. For being a source of inspiration to all who meet her, and for never giving up. If you want to support her, or if you just want to try these delightful products for yourself, you can check out her website, Be Poshsome, or find her on Facebook.
I hope you all have a wonderful day. Take a few minutes for you. Find some time to refill your cup. It may feel inconvenient right now, but you are not an inconvenience. Take the time to tell your body thank you for all the hard work it does. Until next time, my friends…
Potassium. Where to begin. This mineral has my brain working hard. What I am finding in my research, is somewhat conflicted. It is a fascinating mineral, and I hope I don’t bore you to death getting long winded about it. Potassium gets its name from the salt potash, where it was first isolated, by English Chemist, Sir Humphry Davy. He discovered it in 1807. The Latin word for Potash is Kalium.
Potassium is an electrolyte. By now, we know that electrolytes are minerals that carry an electric charge when dissolved in body fluids, and that they allow the body to properly perform critical functions throughout every system. Potassium is critical to survival, and every living cell (plant and animal) requires it. The majority (up to 98%) of the potassium is stored in the bodies cells and tissues. Only about 2% is allowed in the blood, and it is strictly regulated. The body maintains this balance by matching the amount that is eliminated with the amount that is consumed.
Potassium is responsible for maintaining normal function of cells, nerves and muscles. It regulates the fluid balance in the body, and it controls the electrical activity of muscles and very importantly, the heart. Potassium counteracts the effects of sodium, and the body requires a delicate balance between the two. In this way, it helps to maintain blood pressure. It also helps to maintain the balance of acids and bases in the body. Potassium plays a key role in helping to preserve muscle mass. A proper potassium/sodium balance helps the kidneys to work properly, and has a role in energy production. There is new research being done that shows a correlation between potassium/sodium balance and bone health.
Potassium works with several other elements to perform properly, but the potassium/sodium balance seems to be among the top priorities in potassium regulation. The cells pull potassium in, thus pushing sodium out, and creating a pump like action that powers the heart with electricity generated by electrolytes, similar to a small battery. Clearly, this is a big deal. I ran into conflicting information when I got to this part of my research. It appears as though some sources think this is a huge problem in our culture, and others do not recognize it as an issue at all. I am unsure exactly what to think, but I will do my best to share what I have learned, as objectively as I can. I am a little cautious to continue on, without dire warnings. Too much or too little potassium can quickly turn deadly. Please do not start taking potassium supplements in response to this information. If you suspect a potassium imbalance, I can not emphasize strongly enough, how important it is that you never take a potassium supplement unless a professional health care practitioner advises it. There are plenty of healthy foods you can use to increase your potassium intake, and we will get to them, but I am very, very serious, when I say, please see a professional if you are considering a supplement for Potassium.
The potassium/sodium connection deserves its own distinction. The two rely on each other heavily for proper function. You can flush sodium from your body, by increasing the potassium in your diet, and studies have shown that reducing sodium AND increasing potassium in your diet, is a far better way to regulate heart disease and hypertension, than just decreasing sodium alone. The kidneys eliminate extra sodium through the urine, but when they do so, they also eliminate potassium. However, in the same fashion, if the body is deficient in potassium, it will hoard the potassium, and in doing so, will also hoard the sodium. There are some studies that point to the potassium/magnesium balance having an effect on obesity, and bone health as well. The potassium/sodium balance affects every part of the body, and there is a great article highlighting that balance, that you can read by following this link.
Our ancestors consumed sixteen times more potassium than sodium, due to the high potassium and low sodium availability in their diets. For comparison, in modern culture, the average American consumes about two times as much sodium as potassium! Again, I can’t stress enough to check with your doctor before considering a potassium supplement, but you can certainly increase potassium in your diet pretty safely. There are exceptions to this rule though, and it just is not smart to mess with any mineral in your body without some professional supervision. Certain meds, kidney malfunction or heart issues could cause risk of extreme consequences if a person starts altering potassium levels unsupervised. Potassium doesn’t just work in conjunction with sodium though. Potassium is essential to many processes. It helps to enhance Calcium reabsorption. Magnesium is required for the uptake of potassium. A balanced calcium/magnesium/potassium ratio in the body, helps to prevent stroke. Dr. Deanna Minich talks about some of these balances in her article titled “Vitamin and Mineral Interactions: The Complex Relationships of Essential Nutrients”,where she states that potassium deficiency is the most common electrolyte imbalance.
The WHO (World Health Organization) states that we should have a minimum of 3510 mg a day. NHANES (National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey) recommends 4700 mg a day. Both organizations indicate that the majority of Americans are not consuming this much. Some reports go as far as to state that 2% of Americans are consuming enough potassium. Others state that one in five adults hospitalized is potassium deficient. One thing everyone seems to agree on, is that many Americans are potassium deficient. It appears to me that potassium needs are not so generic as stated above, and that they should be based on certain demographics. Here is a nice article, published by the Australian National Health and Medical Research Council. It contains a chart that can give you more accurate numbers based on demographics such as age and gender.
Hyperkalemia (too much potassium)
The body is great at regulating strict levels of blood potassium. There are a few exceptions to this rule though. You might be Hyperkalemic if you have chronic kidney disease or kidney failure. Certain drugs can cause Hyperkalemia. Other causes can be severe dehydration, Type 1 Diabetes, potassium supplementation not regulated by a medical professional, Addisons disease, or a major injury or burn that causes damage to a large portion of red blood cells. By itself, high dietary intake does not usually cause problems, unless exacerbated by one of the above conditions.
Often there are no symptoms of Hyperkalemia until it is severe. When there are symptoms, they consist of things like nausea and vomiting, irritability, and paraesthesia (tingling/numbness). A slow, weak, irregular pulse, muscle weakness, diarrhea, and abdominal cramping are also symptoms that might present. If the heart becomes too weak, sudden collapse could occur. Medical professionals will use a combination of tests, including medical history, blood and urine tests, and electrocardiographs, to determine if you may be Hyperkalemic. Because potassium levels are rather difficult to get accurate results on, doctors will sometimes repeat tests, as there are many factors that can cause a false high potassium reading. When this happens, it is called Psuedohyperkalemia, and it can be caused by things like the cells rupturing and causing excess potassium to leak out before testing or if you are dehydrated or fluid overloaded. Letting the sample sit too long can cause false results. Contaminants may be to blame also.
Hypokalemia (potassium deficient)
Again, I am finding contradicting information here. Some sources say that Hypokalemia is not usually caused by poor dietary intake, but rather by loss from the GI tract and Kidneys. Other sources state that our highly processed diets, lacking fresh produce and meat, are the reason that so many people are lacking in potassium. Could it be a combination of both? The Mayo clinic lists ten causes of potassium deficiency in this article. They are:
Chronic Kidney Disease
Excessive laxative use
Folic Acid deficiency
Other possible causes that I found were all related to drugs/medications, chronic kidney problems and other medical complications. Eating Disorders, AIDS, Bariatric surgery, Asthma, and Type 1 Diabetes are all things that could lead to hypokalemia, due to either body processes or related medications. Leukemia, Cushings syndrome (high cortisol levels), and other adrenal disorders, can also play a role. Excessive salt intake combined with inadequate fruit and vegetable consumption can also lead to deficiency.
Symptoms of Hypokalemia are usually mild, and can be quite vague. They include such things as weakness and lethargy, muscle aches and stiffness, cramping in the arms or legs, and tingling or numbness. The digestive system is negatively impacted when potassium is out of balance, and you could see symptoms including nausea and vomiting, as well as abdominal cramping, bloating, and constipation. Frequent need to urinate and excessive thirst can also be indicators. Fainting, low blood pressure, and abnormal psychiatric behavior are also possible if potassium levels in the blood drop below acceptable limits. One article sited increased dietary potassium as a way to relieve sciatic pain. The heart is widely regulated by potassium, and you can expect to experience heart palpitations and breathing difficulties if potassium levels falls dangerously low.
As you can see, potassium is not a mineral to be experimented with or taken lightly. Please see a professional if this information seems relevant to you. The professionals have several options in tests they can run. They are in the best position to help you manage it, and if something doesn’t seem right, get a second opinion. No one knows it all.
Perhaps the most exciting thing yet about potassium, is how abundant it is. Every living cell requires it for basic function. Thankfully, this gives us many food sources to pursue healthier balances. I am going to include the top ones (believe it or not, bananas are way down around number ten on the list), and then I am going to include several links that have excellent charts that highlight the many sources of potassium in our diets. After all I have learned, it really seems that the average healthy adult, can easily manage their potassium intake by being conscious to eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Fruits are listed as the number one source of potassium. Potassium is everywhere. We just need to be conscious of the processed foods we are putting in our bodies. This is certainly not exclusive to potassium, and potassium deficient or not, eating unprocessed foods is going to help in more ways than you can imagine.
There are a plethora of colleges that have downloadable charts available besides these listed above. A quick google search of potassium rich foods brings up many more than I can list here today.
Potassium has to be one of the most interesting minerals that I have studied so far. I deeply hope that I have helped you to understand it better. I am going to say it again, and I can’t say it enough, if you suspect a potassium imbalance that simple dietary changes won’t compensate for, please see a medical professional for follow up and possible solutions. It really can be quite dangerous to mess around with if you don’t have all of the necessary information. I typically try to let everyone know that you should always use diet rather than supplements to balance your health if possible, but in this situation, I highly recommend against supplementation at any point, without the help of a professional healthcare practitioner. If you are interested in my sources, or further reading, you can check out the links below. I am also going to include a link to a homemade electrolyte drink recipe that I found on the Weston A Price website. I have tried homemade electrolyte drinks in the past. Some are quite delicious. I have not tried this one, but I want to. If it doesn’t suit your tastes, search around for another homemade electrolyte recipe that does. Just watch the sugars. Some of these recipes can call for a great deal of sweetener, as they are often citrus based in flavor.
Good morning my friends! I hope this day finds you well. Continuing on my mission to learn as much as I can about essential minerals that the body needs, I have researched Magnesium this week. Holy buckets! Magnesium is such an amazing mineral. After reading the first article, I was so overwhelmed with where to start, that I took three days off researching to process what I had gathered and how in the world I was going to organize all this information.
Magnesium is a macro-mineral. This means that our bodies need a lot of it for proper function. The hundreds of reactions that it is responsible for are occurring on a nearly constant basis.
Magnesium is an electrolyte. We talked about electrolytes in the last post, but in case you missed that one, electrolytes are substances that carry an electrical charge when mixed with body fluids, allowing them to communicate with the cells in your body. You can learn more about electrolytes here.
Magnesium is necessary for over 300 biochemical processes in the body! Many enzymes rely on Magnesium to function properly. As you can imagine, having an imbalance can wreak extensive havoc in the body. Magnesium plays a particularly important role in the metabolism of Calcium and Potassium. We need it for proper bone and tooth development, as well as normal nerve and muscle function. Magnesium in the blood is strictly regulated by the body. This is why salt baths are effective for a short period of time, but the extra magnesium in your blood is quickly eliminated in your waste, and the effects of a salt bath are short lived. Most (more than half, or 60-70%) of the Magnesium found in the body, is stored in the bones. When blood Magnesium levels get too low, the body releases some from the bones. When it is too high, the body eliminates it through the waste systems.
Magnesium maintains hundreds of processes in the body. Some of the most important ones are to help maintain healthy brain function and to help maintain healthy heart function. It is also believed to be responsible for helping to regulate insulin in those with Type 2 Diabetes. It can help improve sleep quality, as well as help to control migraines and reduce symptoms of depression. Magnesium is an important factor in protein synthesis and it plays a crucial role in muscle and nerve function. Also important is the role that it plays in our energy production. Daily recommendations for magnesium vary by age and gender. This article, published by The National Institutes of Health, has a nice little chart showing how much you need based on those factors.
Hypermagnesemia (too much magnesium)
It is fairly rare to have too much Magnesium in our bodies. The gut and kidneys place strict controls on how much is allowed into the blood. There are few scenarios that will allow for more than the body can use to enter the bloodstream. There are a couple of rare situations where you might have to watch out for too much Magnesium, typically extreme medical cases involving renal failure and supplements that contain Magnesium combined. It is also occasionally used therapeutically, in a closely monitored medical situation, to control neurological function after a cardiac event. Symptoms of Hypermagnesemia include confusion and weakness, decreased breathing rate and in severe cases, cardiac arrest. You may experience nausea and vomiting, or abnormally low blood pressure. Headaches, heart palpitations, and flushing are also symptoms to watch for, and in severe cases, Hypermagnesemia can even result in coma. This would require extremely large amounts of Magnesium in the blood.
There is not a lot of information to be found on Hypermagnesemia, I am guessing because it really is quite rare. Hypomagnesemia (not enough Magnesium), on the other hand, is fairly common.
Hypomagnesemia (Magnesium deficient)
Hypomagnesemia is far more common than Hypermagnesemia. It is caused by things like malabsorption which is often caused by gastrointestinal disease, alcohol dependence, and age. Type 2 Diabetes can also be a factor in Magnesium deficiency. Having high levels of certain hormones present can also decrease Magnesium availability, as well as eating a lot of highly processed foods. Deficiencies can range from mild to severe.
There are many symptoms related to Magnesium deficiency. Fatigue, confusion, or sleepiness are common. You may also experience personality changes, mental disorders, or irritability. Muscle spasms and tremors can often be traced to Magnesium deficiencies. Loss of appetite, nausea, and vomiting, are all symptoms that can develop if Magnesium is not sufficient in the blood. Increased or irregular heartbeat and insomnia are symptoms that you might experience if you are low in Magnesium. Osteoporosis and Asthma can also be linked to Hypomagnesemia. In severe cases you might see seizures or coma.
If you suspect a Magnesium deficiency, please contact a medical professional for proper treatment. Minerals are delicately balanced, and it is easy to disturb the balance of one in an attempt to balance another. Because most Magnesium is stored in the bones, it is difficult to test, but there are tests that can determine the amount in your blood. Those are usually blood or urine panels that your doctor can order for you.
Magnesium has partnerships with Calcium and Vitamin D. The three rely on each other for proper function, and if one is not present in the proper levels in our bodies, the others are likely to be inefficient and unbalanced as well.
Thankfully, Magnesium is found in many common foods. With a little bit of effort, one can certainly get a healthy dose of Magnesium from their diet. I always prefer diet based nutrients over supplemental ones, but if you find that a supplement is necessary, please be certain to get a high quality supplement. Many of the lower quality supplements are abundant in fillers and hard for us to absorb. Better to spend the money on quality supplements that are actually digestible, than to waste money on those that won’t do you much good anyway. But first, take a look at your diet and see if you can add some of these great foods to your regular consumption habits.
Foods containing Magnesium
Kelp and sea vegetables
Peanuts and Peanut butter
Unrefined sea salt
With a quick internet search, you can find a plethora of articles and charts showing which food items are high in calcium. I have a couple great articles that list many foods, plus the amounts of Magnesium in each serving, that I will include links to at the end of this post. There is a fantastic article that I found on the Weston A Price site, that is worth the time it takes to read it, if you want to know more about Magnesium.
I am not a medical professional. I have recently developed a passion for nutrition due to my own medical issues. I am only sharing what I have found because I think it is interesting, and more people need to be educated on minerals. Please do not take any of this post as medical advice, and if you suspect an imbalance, please seek the help of a medical professional before attempting to treat them. I can’t stress this enough. The fine balance of minerals in our body is a slippery slope to mess with unsupervised or with lack of proper information. Below I have listed links to the sources where I got my information. Several are long, comprehensive articles, full of abundant information. I highly recommend further reading, as I am far from an expert on the subject, but it is quite fascinating information.
As many of you already know, the last several years have been a roller coaster of health concerns for me. I spent the last 8 years trying to find out what was wrong with me. Why it hurt to tears when my husband gave me a playful slap on the behind. I swear it is not aggressive or abusive. Just hear me out. Pain over my whole body. No ambition or energy. Brain fog when I used to be so quick with my whits. No organization. Tons to do but a grand lack of energy to do anything more than daydream about what I wished I was accomplishing. Some days I had some fight in me, and I did as much as I could, but most days, I just felt like there was something wrong with me, and no one could tell me what. Every medical test looks healthy. As a matter of fact, my body is the picture of health for someone my age. Every single test within normal limits. Every image the doctors gush over how perfect my organs look. Great. I am healthy as can be, so why do I hurt so bad? Why can’t I get anything done or stay focused long enough to finish a sentence? Why do I feel depressed when I have all the tools and knowledge to choose happiness? Why do I have symptoms of depression when I am completely content, and even feeling blessed beyond imagination in my life? Why can’t I eat? Why does food hurt my stomach so bad? Why does it hurt to drink water? Doctor after doctor sent me home with no answers. I left so many offices in tears, feeling like I either got no new information, or completely contradictory information from the last Dr. “You have too much stomach acid”. “You don’t have enough stomach acid”. “You have low thyroid”. “Your thyroid is within normal limits”. It is so frustrating to be told opposite things by every other doctor you see. I was at my whits end. I had shed many tears and prayed many prayers over this. I just wanted an answer. I didn’t care what it was. As long as I could get some truth.
Finally, I landed a great doctor! About a year ago I found her, and I have her on a pedestal so high that she should probably be wearing a safety harness. She does a lovely job of blending Natural and Western health care. A balanced doctor who doesn’t want to just write me a bunch of prescriptions and send me out the door. She is genuinely concerned for my well being and wants me to feel good, and I love her!
When everything came back healthy, she quickly sent me to an OBGYN (my biggest complaint was uterus pain), who was able to diagnose me with copper toxicity in under an hour. She told me that they don’t have an answer for copper toxicity in western medicine, and that she was going to call a naturopath friend of hers. I am in love with my new team of doctors. They are not too proud to admit that natural medicine has practical applications. Within three days they had me on a copper chelation regimen, and I started to feel better within about five days. When I saw my family practitioner for a follow up after the specialist, she told me to go to the naturopath for further care, because western medicine is just a little behind the times and doesn’t put a lot of emphasis on trace minerals in their studies. I strongly encourage you to see a specialist if you are going to try to “detox” from a heavy metal, as it can be quite dangerous if you aren’t careful.
This got my brain spinning. Trace minerals are the foundation and building blocks of life. How can they not be studied? I decided to do some research of my own. I ran a nutrition class by my doctor. She checked it out and told me it looked great and to go for it. So, I have decided to share what I am learning with you. Someone needs to. This is important information and I believe it could answer many of the unresolved and mysterious health problems that we are seeing these days. Auto-immune disorders and neurological disorders are on the rise at an alarming rate. I have been diagnosed with both celiac disease and fibromyalgia. Though I will likely never be able to tolerate gluten again, I fully believe that with copper toxicity resolution in my life, the fibromyalgia symptoms will disappear. As a matter of fact, they are already diminishing greatly.
Which brings me to the topic of the day. I need information that I can trust. I need information that I can confirm and validate. I am tired of not knowing who to believe. If I feel this way, some of you must too. I have decided that I will write for you, everything I can learn about minerals. I will start with the major minerals, and write one topic at a time, until I get through them all. Minerals and elements are surprisingly fascinating and enlightening to study. I look forward to the adventure. Today we start with Calcium.
Calcium is the most prevalent mineral in the human body. The majority of it is dedicated to keeping your teeth and bones healthy, while the rest is responsible for such things as maintaining a regular heartbeat, helping blood to clot, sending and receiving nerve signals, assisting the muscles in contracting and relaxing, releasing hormones and other chemicals into the body, and preventing Osteoporosis.
Most of the calcium in the body is uncharged, but carries a charge when dissolved in body fluids. The body moves the calcium out of the bones and into the blood as needed. The body maintains a strict balance of calcium in the blood, and when people don’t consume enough calcium, the body leeches it from the bones to supply the blood. Osteoporosis is the end result of weakening the bones by taking too much calcium from them. The Merck Manual has an excellent article that goes into more depth about this. The article explains how the calcium is regulated by two hormones. They are the parathyroid hormone and calcitonin. A quick synopsis of the function of these hormones is that the parathyroid tells your body to do such things as release calcium to the blood from the bones, tells the kidneys to excrete less calcium in urine, signals the digestive tract to absorb more calcium and cause the kidneys to activate more vitamin D, enabling the digestive tract to absorb more calcium. Calcitonin slightly lowers the calcium level in the blood, by slowing breakdown of the bones. For a more detailed explanation of this you can refer to the article published by Merck Manual, titled “Overview of Calcium’s role in the Body”.
When you have too much calcium in your blood, it is called Hypercalcemia. It can be the cause of such things as weakened teeth and bones, heart and brain malfunction, and kidney stones. The symptoms can be non-existent to severe, and are usually caused by overactive parathyroid glands. I found that The Mayo Clinic had a great article that really summed up hypercalcemia well, and is still easy for the average person to understand. Some of the main points of that article, which I would like to highlight for you quickly, are the symptoms and causes of hypercalcemia.
Excessive thirst and frequent urination. This is because the kidneys are working harder to filter the calcium.
Digestive system troubles, such as stomach upset, nausea, vomiting and constipation. Loss of appetite, abdominal pain, and weightloss are also digestive symptoms caused by hypercalcemia. Because the bones are weakened from too much calcium being diverted to the blood, oftentimes those experiencing hypercalcemia will have weakened bones, bone pain, muscle weakness and fatique. Sometimes these symptoms lead to depression, anxiety, insomnia, and in rare cases, even coma.
The brain presents with such symptomology as confusion, lethargy, fatigue, constant headaches, depression, and other neurological disorders.
In rare and severe cases, the heart also shows symptoms of hypercalcemia. Heart palpitations, indications of cardiac arrhythmia, and fainting are all possible complications of hypercalcemia.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have calcium deficiency, also called Hypocalcemia. Hypocalcemia results in a long list of symptoms such as fainting, chest pains, heart failure, difficulty swallowing, larynx spasms leading to voice changes, fatigue, seizures, coarse hair, and brittle nails. Irritability, impaired intellectual capability, depression, anxiety, and personality changes are all symptoms to watch for. Psoriasis, dry skin and chronic itching, tooth decay, numbness and tingling in extremities or around the mouth, muscle cramps/weakness, and wheezing, can also be symptoms. Cataracts and Osteoporosis are also often associated with hypocalcemia.
Causes of hypocalcemia can be such things as a Vitamin D or Magnesium deficiency, high sodium intake, high phosphorus intake, chronic kidney disease, abnormal parathyroid function, bariatric surgery, and several prescription and over the counter drugs.
The average person needs to consume about 1000-1200 mg of Calcium per day, from food and supplement sources. Supplements are generally not as readily accessible to the body as food sources are, but sometimes they are necessary. If you find yourself in need of a supplement to increase your calcium intake, do the research and spend the money to get a good one. It will be worth it in the long run.
Like all minerals, calcium works in conjunction with other minerals. Minerals are like a web. All of them require other elements to be at their highest level of efficiency. This is where it really gets tricky. It is easy to upset the natural balance of one mineral in an attempt to balance another. If you suspect mineral imbalances, I highly recommend seeing a naturopath or other alternative healthcare provider for assistance in balancing them. The tests are simple blood and urine panels that reveal how much calcium is in your blood, and how much is being excreted in your urine. This information will help you and your doctor to tailor the best balancing regime for your body. The tests that are usually run are the Total calcium blood test, Ionized calcium blood test, and urine test.
The other elements that we know are critical to make calcium its most effective, are Vitamin D, Vitamin K, Vitamin A and Magnesium. They allow it to be absorbed, assimilated, and properly dispersed in the body as needed. Without all of them in balance, it will be difficult to keep your calcium balanced. It is intricate design, and this is why you should always see a professional before you start messing with your minerals. If you suspect an imbalance of any type, please contact a professional for help getting them regulated. A family practitioner, a naturopath or other alternative care provider, or a nutritionist, are all professionals who can help you to get your calcium levels balanced. I am not a doctor. I only have the knowledge that I gained from the internet and personal experience. Please do not act on this as medical advice. It is only meant to be informative, never diagnostic. I will leave you with links to the articles that I used to find my facts. Each and every one of them has a plethora of great information. I encourage you to follow up with these articles if you have any further questions or wish to explore any aspect of calcium imbalance further.
Follow up links for further reading and reference:
What a Spring! With the change of seasons, comes opportunity for personal reflection. This has been one long winter, and one Spring that has been a long time coming. We finally got two days in a row of better than 60 degree temps. Yard work has begun, the perennials have started to emerge. It is time for outside Spring cleaning. Just in the nick of time too, because I was losing my mind being cooped up in the house so long.
So many changes in store for us this season. The fledgling has flown the coop. I have resigned from the non-profit group that I founded, and am about to embark on a brand new adventure. It is time to start focusing on my future, now that my son has successfully set off in pursuit of his. My dreams have been moved to the front burner, and I could not be more thrilled about it. I have so many ideas about what the future holds for us, and the good we can do in it. Today my mind is just overflowing with possibilities and thoughts about what might be in store. I feel like I have twelve paths in front of me, and I am just not quite sure which to explore first. A lot of personal exploration in the season that is upon us.
I can clearly see my roles changing. I went from working with special needs adolescents and low income families, to becoming a mentor for young women and young couples. It is a refreshing change, I must say. I can’t quite sum it up into words yet, as I have just come to the realization recently. All I really know for sure, is that it is refreshing to be working with a different group of people.
I discovered a charity recently that I fell in love with. As a bit of a fabric hoarder, I can not resist clearance fabric and I have totes and totes of it. Now I have a use. the charity is called Dress a girl around the world, and their mission is to make simple dresses for orphans around the world. It is a fabulous charity, and I am thrilled to be doing something so near and dear to my heart. I have made three dresses so far, and look forward to making many more. My goal is 100.
Once they are made, I can send them to the organization and they will have a volunteer deliver them to an orphanage in an impoverished region of the world. I love everything that this charity stands for, and I hope to have the opportunity to continue to make dresses for a long time to come.
I have decided not to garden this year. As my home has become to large for me now that my child has grown and moved, and my spare room is not necessary for clients to stay in, we are looking to downsize. Because a move is imminent, I will spend the summer tearing down my garden and getting ready to move it, instead. I still have a lot of perennials coming up though. Strawberries and Asparagus, flowers and succulents, a few parsnips that I planted last year, some volunteer bunching onions that did not come up for me last year, and of course, dependable chives as usual. You will just have to ignore my weeds. We have only had two decent days here this Spring so far, and I just haven’t gotten to them. I have a few more that should come as it warms a bit more, but I will let my perennials be until we find a place, and hope like heck that it is a good time to transplant when we do. We need less lawn and bedrooms, and more usable space for our bee’s and chickens and ranch life. A change is in our near future. A big one, and I have no idea what step is next.
I started doing some online work, and all of the money I make goes directly to paying off past debt. What a Godsend it has been. I am hoping this is the door that makes it possible for us to finally buy that little slice of Montana that we will call our own. I am so ready to settle down into a permanent little, off the beaten path piece of land. I have big dreams, and most of them require semi permanence, or at least more than I am able to do on this little piece. This house is more than we need, we are required to expend way more energy on lawn than seems morally acceptable to me, and I think it is wasteful, what happens on this piece of rental property. I don’t own it though, so it is not up to me. Away we must go. Finding a suitable replacement piece is proving difficult. A huge growth spurt in the valley has left housing costs astronomically high, and the ability to get away from the crowds, increasingly difficult. And so the search continues.
Balancing my time is proving challenging to me. I feel like I have a lot of irons in the fire, and no idea how to time it so they are get the right amount of attention. The hubby and I have been doing a lot of good work lately, and are feeling the repercussions of that now. But I have faith, and am just going to keep doing what I am doing. I know that I am here to produce love for those in need. I will do so as long as I am able. Meanwhile, I have plenty of problems of my own that require solving, and I know I have to act on them, I am just at a loss as to where to start, or maybe, which path I need to head down.
And so, meandering I will go. Right now, I am going to meander myself back out to the Spring clean up, while the sun shines warm and bright. I wish you all the loveliest of days. Until next time my friends.
Good day my friends, and Happy New Years to you all. I hope that you have safe and cozy plans with loved ones today. I am so incredibly ready for the new year to begin. My goals and dreams are within sight and I have had plenty of the routine disrupting holiday chaos. I am ready to hunker down, get back on focus, and inch my way toward those dreams without constant interruption. So close that I can almost smell and taste them. My mind is focused on a singular mission. Disruptions annoy me. I realize that I am out of line here and I have spent a great deal of time thinking about expectation this week.
Expectations. Sigh. Such a burden. A thief of joy and peace. Expectations steal our control. They steal everything worthwhile and fill us with disappointment.
I know what sustainable peace and contentment look like. I know what true, organic, deep rooted happiness feels like. The kind that even tragedy can’t really break or steal from you. And, that is how I am able to be 100% confident making this claim. Expectation is the enemy of peace and contentment. It spans the entirety of our lives. And when our expectations aren’t met, we are disappointed. We feel betrayed and we start a vicious cycle of negative thoughts. It is such a hard cycle to break, and it is a constant battle in practice. Here I am today, fighting this expectation demon that I learned how to overcome more than ten years ago. It is always trying to get in. The only way to control it is to be aware of it and physically take control of my thoughts. For me this means writing. It has been building in me for a few weeks now, but it was not until yesterday that I realized that it was disappointment causing my lack of patience. I have trained myself how to look at my emotions and recognize them, and trace them like a paper trail, back to their foundations.
It became clear for me a couple of days ago. I posted on Facebook about being a safe place and that my door is always open. Almost immediately my phone started ringing with people in tragedy. People who needed a friend. And they all had the same problem. Different versions of it, of course, but the situations all led back to one issue. Expectation. Each of them expected a different scenario than they got, and each of them was putting responsibility for their emotional well being on that expectation.
Our emotional well being is our responsibility and ours alone. It is not our husband, roommate, coworkers, children’s, or anyone else’s job to ensure that we are emotionally stable. The responsibility belongs to us as individuals.
As the week draws on, I get more and more calls, messages, and endless conversations, about how someone is ruining another persons joy.
Let me repeat. Expectation ruins our joy. Not other people. Not situations. Just our own personal expectations.
It started as a feeling of loneliness. My phone was ringing all day long, and somehow I felt alone. I am pretty used to this feeling, and didn’t think a whole lot of it. it just happens sometimes. No biggie. No sadness. Just content quiet in my own space.
And then the phone started interrupting my quiet, and suddenly my quiet alone became a nagging sense of duty.
One after another, people started calling in need. Lacking patience and empathy, I navigated these conversations to the best of my ability, but underneath it all I had a sense of impatience and intolerance.
Underneath it all I was developing some expectation.
At first I felt guilty, that I had put up this post on Facebook offering a safe space, and then when people came calling on it, I didn’t necessarily make them feel better. Soon though, I was starting to feel anger. I know, that when I am starting to feel anger, I am failing to recognize and deal with the emotion that is causing it. So, I stopped. I asked myself why I was angry. The rush of responses in my head was clear as a bell and easily definable. I was hurt and disappointed, and I could tell you exactly why.
As it snowballed and grew into anger and sarcastic judgement that just gushed out of me when my husband got home from work, I knew I had to do something about it. Thankfully I recognize that he is not causing this. He is one of the few that I actually do feel I can share with. It was the fact that I needed to vent it to him that got my attention.
So I started processing out loud. Well, lets see. I was contacted by multiple people in the last 48 hours. The majority of them wanted to vent to me. They asked my advice, but when I gave it, I received a whole lot of “but, can’t, won’t” in response. All of them lacked the ability to see that they came to me about themselves, but that they really did not want to talk about themselves. They wanted to talk about how other were affecting them. They had no interest in truth, or me. When I contradicted what they wanted to hear, they abruptly ended the conversation. It is evident they want me to build them up with what they want to hear, because if I say anything that conflicts what they want to hear, they suddenly have to go, or give me excuses why that advice doesn’t apply to this particular situation. None of them took the time to ask me how I was. None of them even wondered out loud a single time, if my life was on track, or if I myself may have something going on too.
Thankfully, the only thing I have going on is a little expectation disappointment, and that is pretty easy to resolve.
You see, I had an expectation that people wanted to hear my perspective, and that they would at least hear it, rather than block me out when there is no easy answer or when it is not what they want to hear. I had an expectation that a friend who asked if they could come over to talk was on their way, when I put away my project to get ready for their visit, so when two hours later, I had to message and ask if they were still coming, it is fair to say that I had some expectation disappointment that they had no respect for my time. I had some expectation disappointment because I expected to get back what I gave to each situation. I expected that if people were going to interrupt my work for their personal drama, that they could at least be bothered to ask how I was doing.
I mentioned this to a friend this morning, and her response was, “well that seems valid”.
I told her it was absolutely not valid.
And then I had to stop and think. Is it possible that this is valid pain and disappointment? Am I beating myself up and refusing to validate myself?
I decided it was not valid. I know what contentment looks like. Content, happy, well adjusted, emotionally stable people, do not place expectation upon others. Plain and simple. Well adjusted people accept others for who they are.
I have had four conversations this week with people who are upset that their partner is not who they want them to be. That their partner has changed and isn’t the same person they were in the beginning. To that I say “so have you”. You are not the person you were when you became a team, and neither are they. People change, constantly. They grow, they gain perspective, priorities change, responsibilities affect our lifestyles, traumas change us at the core. Every. Single. Person. We all change. No one remains the same, and we would be handed an awful sentence to have it any other way. A prison within our own selves. We need to change, we need to grow. Life would not throw us curve balls if we were not meant to learn from them and become a better version of ourselves.
An expectation that I come across regularly in my work, is that people believe that when they do the work to achieve happiness, that suddenly life gets easier. That less hard stuff happens. I see defeat when that is not the case. Happiness is not about life throwing less curve balls, it is about how well you swing at them. How many can you knock out of the park? In other words, its not the pitch that matters, its the swing. The bat is in your hands. Will you hit the ball coming at you? Will you duck and let it hit the ump? Or will you stand proud with determination, say “I got this” and knock that ball out of the park? Happiness isn’t about less curve balls. It is about your attitude as they fly at you.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying there is no room for hurt in a happy life. Hurt, grief, terrible things, are all going to happen to you. We were given emotions for a reason, and it wasn’t to push them down. It was to use them in a healthy way, to help us process a situation, and then to move through them into a functional solution.
If you lose a child, you are absolutely not going to just smile your way through it. If you get a horrible diagnosis or a loved one does, it will hurt. There is just no way around that.
It does not change the fact that you are still responsible for your own emotional health. You can get through tragedy and trauma in emotionally healthy ways. It does not have to be the end all be all that defines you.
The only way to overcome expectation disappointment, is to ditch the expectation. Its called acceptance. It doesn’t come with but’s attached.
Acceptance. It’s a doozy.
Acceptance is realizing and accepting that people are as unique as their fingerprints. That each of us will have our very own set of standards. We may agree with a majority on a lot of those standards, but at some point, you are going to find a standard difference with any single person you come across. No two people are the same, and our standards are as unique as our fingerprints. At some point, every single person will fail to live up to your expectation. And when they do, you will be hurt. It is not because they did anything to you. It is because they did what was right for them, and you took it personally that it was not the same thing that was right to you.
Your partner is going to grow and change as you face life together, and not in the same ways as you. It is your choice to accept who they are becoming and support them, or to try to change them back into your expectation of them. If you decide to try to change them back into who they are no longer, you will be disappointed every time, for you are not letting them be who they are growing into. You are refusing to let them mature into the future version of themselves. The problem with this, is that they are going to continue to change, and your expectations are going to continue to be unmet, and you are going to grow more distant and disappointed in the relationship. It is your choice to focus on the good and support that; or you can focus on the changes that you don’t like, and dwell in that cesspool. The choice, and emotional responsibility, lie with you.
What you may see as a negative change, others may see as a positive. When you are busy pointing fingers at the ways others have failed you, you are blind to the ways that you are failing them.
If we want emotional stability. Happiness. The ability to hold on to peace, even when the bad things happen, then we must look inside ourselves. Your partner, your parents, your friends and loved ones can not provide this for you. As a matter of fact, if they try, it will end up hurting everyone involved.
Codependency comes from a focus on fixing others rather than working on ourselves. I have fought a long, hard battle with codependency, and it rears its ugly head from time to time. Thankfully I can quickly identify it and reign it in. Occasionally it makes me quite intolerant of other peoples bahviors, and I have to check myself.
If there is one thing I am 100% sure of, it is that I am responsible for my emotional stability, and if I am behaving as a codependant, and angry that people aren’t behaving the way that I think they should be, I need a great big reality check.
It is me who is in the wrong here.
It is me who is trying to control others behaviors. (In this instance, I have not actually talked to any of the people about it. I have not tried to control them outwardly or directly, but in my mind, I am upset that they have not behaved in a specific way. That they have not lived up to “my standards”).
How incredibly selfish and egotistical is this??
It is the ugliest part of me.
The part of me that thinks that I somehow know what is the best way for someone to behave according to my personal set of standards. It is my most selfish and ugly part, and I had to think long and hard to talk myself into coming here today and admitting to you all that I have been “shoulding all over” my loved ones.
The situation is causing me pain. Enough pain to distract me from my focus and goals. Enough that I actually took the time to waste my precious hubby time complaining about it. That I let it interrupt my work, and my chores, and my general well being. Shame on me! So here I sit with a decision to make about how to deal with all this expectation disappointment that I have. Clearly I can not carry on with hurt feelings that another person was not behaving within my set of standards. How do I resolve this conflict within me? On the one hand, I am feeling quite taken for granted and unheard. On the other hand, I can not control the way other people react or behave toward me. As far as I can tell, I can choose to confront them individually, but this is just more of me telling them how I expect them to behave, and that I was disappointed that they didn’t meet my standard. I can accept that they are all very good people, and that there are areas in life where different experiences have caused us to have different norms and standards, and let go of my expectation. I can accept that their behavior is a reflection on them, not me. I can face that I may be taking something personally that isn’t personal at all.
I can employ empathy. This is the tool that works best for me. Everyone is different, but I find that if I try to put myself in their shoes, I can empathize it away. Sometimes it is hard, others it is glaringly obvious and simple. While I have used the example before, it still works so well that I will use it again.
How do you feel when someone is driving too slow, not using a blinker, or doing some other random thing that you don’t find acceptable? Did the man in a big hurry behind you suddenly pass you, cut in front of you and make a sharp turn without his blinker? Oh what an ass, right?
Or is that right? There are two sides of this scenario to consider. First. How he is behaving, and second, how you respond. His behavior seems erratic, maybe even dangerous. Heck even if he simply followed all the rules but forgot to use his blinker you might find yourself annoyed, right?? How do you respond? Do you slow down? Give him some space, recognize that he is clearly a threat to your well being and create a little buffer room around you? Do you lay on the horn? Flip him the bird? Do you roll down your window and scream angry things at him or even speed up to prove a point?
Remember, happiness is in the eye of the beholder. It happens when you create it. You have split second choices to make. How will you respond to him? If you get angry, defensive, and respond in any unloving way, are you taking the time to put yourself in his shoes? Have you ever needed a pass? Have you ever made a mistake driving? Do you know why he is driving like that? Have you considered that his youngest child may have just been in a severe car accident, or that his wife may be in preterm labor? Is it possible that his mother just fell down the stairs and he is temporarily out of his mind with fear?
Or will you spread anger? If you flip him the bird, scream at him, and act in an irate fashion, will it improve the situation. Will he even notice? Will it affect him at all, or will it just ruin your day? Will you go to work and rant and rave about him to everyone you see? Will you ruin their moment with your negativity too? The only person your anger really affects is you, and the people that you spew your ugly onto. And it never affects them for the better.
Think about it again. What will you do when he cuts you off in his mad panic?
How will you respond.
The choice is yours.
In this exact same way, you have control over your emotional stability.
In every situation. It is your choice. How will you handle it? Will you be the love? The light? The empathy? Will you choose to accept them? Will you accept people who behave in a way that does not meet your expectations? How will you resolve unmet expectations within yourself? Will you give them a little space to be them and not take it personally?
The other choice leads to disappointment. It leads to heartache and unmet expectation.
How will I deal with the hurt feelings of my friends not meeting my expectations? I will remind myself that they are good friends, who have been there for me in the past and are going through a hard time and need my empathy right now. Or I will stop answering their calls, stop giving them my time. If I evaluate the health of the relationship and find that I am being disappointed over and over again, I can surmise that said person and I are like oil and water, and I can choose to spend less time with them. It does not mean that I have to have hard feelings or that I am judging them. It simply means that I am reclaiming control of my emotional well being. I am going to be me. I am going to let them be them. If our paths are meant to cross, they will, and if not, then I am much better off not wasting my life dwelling on the pain of the relationship. Best to break that chain and move forward.
What I won’t do, is compromise my integrity to meet their expectations. I won’t lie to them, so that I can make them feel better by telling them what they want to hear or pampering their swollen ego. I won’t validate blame and accusation. Excuses will quickly bring out the blunt and honest part of me.
I had some guilt about this. About being impatient with excuses and calling fallacies where I perceived them. I am certain I hurt some feelings. I am certain the receiver was expecting a different response from me and is quite upset with me that my answer did not meet expectation, and I am certain it happened with more than one conversation.
I chewed on that guilt for a minute. And then I let it go. I have not done anyone wrong. I was only being me. I did not change who I was to meet their expectation, because I know that that is a recipe for a miserable life. I simply was myself. If their response to me being myself and saying what I see in response to the question hurt or angered them, then much like I needed to evaluate my expectations to resolve my anger,so do they. I am not responsible for their emotional well being and how they respond to me is as much their choice as how I respond to them.
And so, to all of my friends who felt that I was talking about you today, I may have been. Its possible. But I have resolved my expectation. I will be here when you can resolve yours. I have no hard feelings or ill will toward you. I only want the best for each and every one of you. And that is why I can not feed this demon. It is why I can not say what you want to hear. As long as this demon is being fed, it will grow and grow until it consumes you (if it isn’t already). I refuse to feed that expectation demon. I am sorry that you are hurting, and I will do my best to summon empathy. I will not feed the destructive demon that is blame. It is up to you to take responsibility for your own emotional well being.
It can mean any number of things. Maybe you need to decide to get a therapist or some meds for a chemical imbalance, maybe you need to stop talking to someone or consider an alternative to your current living situation. It may require a drastic change on your part. But you, and only you, can achieve peace in your life. And accepting that you can not change others, so how you react to them is key, really goes a long, long way down that path to sustainable peace.