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Blog Moved!

Well, I learned how to move my blog, and it fits right in without a glitch. You can’t even tell which days were in which blog. Anyway, that being said, man it has been a long time since I have posted. I have much on my mind. The entire family has been sick. The Rescue Ranch is coming along nicely, and The fundraising efforts are also progressing nicely. I have found some really great resources online regarding small farm start-up, and have been working pretty hard on my business plan. Finances are surprising me. I have been experimenting with new recipes and preserving the harvest. I have been working on crafts for the sales aspect, and I feel as though I am being called to work with kids in a drastic way.

I found a great new site to buy beads inexpensively, and the greenhouse is awesome. I have a ton of Cherry tomatoes and pepper plants producing like crazy. Saturday is the women’s expo. I always have fun at that. Lots to write about, but I m tired, so tonight I will settle for getting the blog moved and a quick recap! Night All…

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Moving the blog back

well, I found another blog site that I really loved. I hung out there for a couple of months, and now I have gotten an email that I must move i, as they are shutting the site down. That is so unfortunate. I was really enjoying that page. It is a wordpress blog, but the dashboard is nothing like this one, and I cannot figure out how to move it over here. Waiting for a reply from the site admin…and soon that content will be here. Another thing I don’t get…the backgrounds. Why are the choices so different. Both are hosted by wordpress, so why are the same background images not available? So welcome back to my wordpress blog…I will miss my homestead blogger site, and the community it hosted. Ahh, technology. I get it enough to be frustrated by it!

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Beads, the flu, and a wedding

So the hubby took off today for his the wedding, we are going to follow behind in the morning. I am still getting an abundance of weird drama phone calls, from people I have not heard from in years. It is the strangest thing. I am in a great place today though. I made one of the prettiest necklaces I have made in a very long time. It took all day but it turned out pretty beautiful. I am pretty excited about it. My husbands parents showed up around noon to take him to the wedding, and at about twelve fifteen, my son called with a headache. I went to get him, and he was red, clammy, warm, and complaining of body aches everywhere…ugh! This could throw a damper in our wedding plans and at this moment I am counting my blessings that we did not all go today. It is a good thing it is less than two hours away.

Munching on a piece of pizza and taking an opportunity for computer time on this cold, wet, but lovely evening. I am starting to feel like myself again, one day at a time, although I am still quite thrown off by the random dumps of drama on a daily basis.

Have I already mentioned that we decided to do shoeboxes for one of our churches Christmas programs? I was at the craft store the other day and I got some of the coolest little ideas. I found a bead store online, called dollarbead.com. It is a dollar store for beads and I could not be more excited about it. I have read the reviews and they are stellar.I can’t wait to place my first order.

A bunch of people have already started offering goods and services for the silent auction. I am pretty impressed by that since I have not even started planning it yet. It looks a bit like the two guys have the concert under control, and the other girl has the dinner under control, so I think I can start doing the silent auction. I was thinking maybe a soup dinner, or soup feed, or whatever you call it.

Not much to say today. I spent the majority of it buried in beads and wire. Have a wonderful evening all…

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It’s about to get crazy…

Well, today was my official last day of peace and quiet for a couple days. The last couple of weeks have been weird, and the last couple of days have finally slowed down, just long enough to let me take a deep breath. I got the housework caught up, as it really got behind while I spent two weeks in shock. I did learn, while I was in shock over the news of my friend, that I cook for comfort. I never realized that before and it seemed so blatantly obvious when it dawned on me. I got three necklaces made today. Two of which are gifts for my friend and her mommy, and one that goes into the inventory bucket for sale. Tomorrow begins a two week stint of every day chaos. There will be no routine about this month! Tomorrow my husband leaves for his cousins wedding rehearsal dinner, and on Saturday we follow behind for the wedding. Sunday we come home late in the evening, and Monday, my most chaotic and un-assembled friend is needing a place to lie her head for the week. She will be here Monday through Friday, and then Friday after she leaves, my cousin is coming into town. She arrives in the middle of the night and will be here for a week. The day she leaves is an expo that I really want to go to, so we are going to do that before I take her to her departure stop. During that time, I am also working on a benefit concert for my friend and a dinner and a silent auction are events to come. At least I got through what I needed to do for the spay/neuter event. The event is Saturday, and I am going to miss it because I have to go to the wedding. It will be the first event I have missed since I joined the committee as the volunteer and food coordinator, and I am a tiny bit nervous about them pulling it off…I know they will, I just have some control issues I guess. I handed off my schedule of volunteers today and notified the person responsible to pick up breakfast that I had some control issues and I was counting on her to get breakfast. I think they will be fine, but I feel like I am missing out. I shouldn’t. We do it three times a year, and I get my fill of spay/neuter every time, but I really dislike missing the events. The garden is done for the year, except for a few last cool season veggies and a couple tomato and pepper plants in the greenhouse, but it is pretty clear they know it is fall.

I am in a weird place…it is not a very compassionate place. I am a very compassionate person…to a fault, but today I find myself in a cynical place. I feel like every person I know has called me or texted or messaged me to complain about their awful, miserable, terrible, horrible days. Some of them have real life changing stuff going on. I feel completely overwhelmed by the horrible things that seem to be happening to the people all around me, but then I hear people crying about their entire day being wrecked because of some five minute event that really could easily be turned around and viewed as a blessing. I find myself feeling impatient with petty drama. Stuff that doesn’t matter, or doesn’t deserve the credit it is being given for day ruining events, and I find myself in a place of brutal honesty…I mean really, If your kid is not dying of cancer, then you have it pretty good right? Really? It’s a perspective thing I guess, but I had to tell two of my friends that they were being ridiculous and overreacting today…and you know what, they both sucked it up, quit crying, and said, “good point”. If you just want to whine and cry about petty problems, I am not the person to call today. If your problems don’t consist of death, sickness, 35 years of marriage falling apart, hungry or neglected children and elderly, war, poverty, horded animals, unsaved souls, or the end of the earth…well, I already have enough on my mind then, thanks.

That about sums up my mood for the day. I am tired of hearing blessed people complain about the things that they don’t have, or the things that might have to endure. I am tired of being around people who cannot see what they have, and I don’t want to be everyone’s ear. I feel like the last three weeks or so have been a bombardment both of people who have very real needs of me, and of people who just need a little attention on them today, begging for my other shoulder. I am currently burdened with the very heavy load of people who actually have real tragedy in their lives, and I can’t carry the drama weight too…

I feel like no matter how hard I try, I can’t make people understand that I don’t just sit home watching soap operas and picking my nose all day just waiting to jump up to listen to them cry or babysit their kids or run their errands or whatever else they may be able to ask me to do…you know, this one big favor.

I have very real responsibilities and goals. I really have a lot of my own life trying to grow and happen and I can’t seem to get that across to them all. I have been here before, only in a very different state of mind. There was a point in my life when I was very codependent. I have since broken that cycle, and no longer feel inclined to give more than I can, and so, I am wondering how to handle this. I find I have become much more blunt with people. Much easier to say it like it is. If they don’t want to hear it they will call someone else, and if it makes them quit crying, well, it’s much more efficient than just telling them what they want to hear and fueling the fire.

As you can see, the over-stimulation that won’t stop is starting to overflow out of me. The first sign that I need some serious down time is that I get a little less tolerant of stupidities! I am dreading the idea of not seeing down time again until some time in the end of October…I can already imagine what kind of mood I will be in by then…Dear Lord, protect me from myself over the next couple weeks please! Hold me strong and keep me while I trod through the days to come. I love you Father! Amen!

My first thought is that I will be ok as long as I keep Jesus beside me! I think that is the thing that is heaviest on me. I have Jesus beside me every minute of my day. He is the only one I feel I can talk to and be candid with these days, and He lays no burden on me. It is a lonely but comforting place to be. I enjoy being lonely with Jesus, but I wish that I could slow down some and enjoy it in solitude and quiet. It is hard to be in this place, and constantly surrounded by people who are not content with their lives. I feel like I cannot help but eventually just fade out the endless drone…and I don’t mean to, but I don’t really have anything to say. It is hard to be contemplative with The Lord when you are surrounded by constant chatter and activity. That is what I am trying to say. So, by now I am sure you are tired of hearing me drone on and on, so until next time (and it might be a few days)… have a blessed day, and may The Lord me at your side always!

 

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Cloudy days…welcome

Today is a very cloudy, grey and overcast day. It matches my mood nicely and I am perfectly content with this weather. I have been running non-stop for days, and as a highly sensitive person, that takes a toll on me. I seem to absorb every bit of energy from everyone around me, and if they are in a particularly foul place, it has profound effects on me. I always thought I was weird, until my sons therapist handed me a book titled The Highly Sensitive Person. I cannot remember who it was by, but I do remember that first page and how It made me feel to know I was not alone in needing re-coop time after being exposed to hours of stimulation…

The last week has been non-stop go, and not only non-stop go, which in itself is exhausting, but it just feels like there is this black cloud hanging over the Earth. I feel blessed to have Jesus right beside me through it, but it is hard to enjoy being content when every person in my life is surrounded by this black cloud. September seemed like a particularly gloomy month for everyone I know. It is a lonely place…I am content, but surrounded by people who are hurting, and they all seem to want to talk to me about their hurts…the weight of all that hurt is smothering me. Thank you Lord for being with me!

I think of my sick little friend every day. Today she starts Radiation and graduates to an outpatient, and she and her family will live in a camper next to the hospital for the next six months. Ugh! I miss them so, and would love to just have a nice long chat with my best friend…how selfish is it that I just want to sit down and pour my heart out to her when all of this is going on in her life? So, I sit quietly, wondering what to do with all of these feelings that have become so overwhelming that even writing them down in my journal has become a struggle?

I finally put my garden to bed…most of it. My little greenhouse is still plugging away, as are my few cool season veggies still left out there, but I have the crafting bug and am ready to move my activities inside for a while. I am absolutely thrilled about this gray, dreary day. It is a good day to have some cocoa and do some quilting or beading. The air smells deliciously fresh and I couldn’t have asked for a better weather pattern to go with my mood. I have a quiet contentedness, but also a sense of lonesomeness and I am overwhelmed by the hurts and challenges of others.

I feel a little greedy today. I never win anything, and I usually don’t even try. I was raised under the philosophy easy come, easy go, and I just take it for granted that if I didn’t earn it, I am not going to get it. I rarely register for drawings and other win me type events, but at the bead show I went to this weekend, I registered for a door prize. I keep hoping I will win, but I feel like that is a pretty lame thing to hope for. I would LOVE a big bag of beads to show up in my mailbox right about now… The fact that I can’t quit thinking…maybe just this once I will win something, makes me wonder why this particular drawing is so important? I don’t dwell on things like that…what is going on with me? I can chalk it up to a few things…desperation to get some new supplies and make some items to sell, maybe I have not been feeling very noticed lately, even though I have been busting my butt for everyone I know, and I want to feel less invisible…recognized in a way I guess. I don’t know, I just know I am spending more time wishing on this silly basket of beads than is typical for me.

My mom ordered me a couple of subscriptions to some good magazines and I am anxious for them to get here as well….

I have been filling you with a bunch of random thoughts lately as I struggle to get back on track after the last couple of weeks. I have not been posting about my gardening and baking and preserving adventures. I have not been focusing on the things I mean to focus on and I long to get back in the groove of things. I am happy to have my garden put to bed and be able to focus on the artsy crafty part of my life as the coming days cool off. I have been keeping my camera handy and taking pictures of things as I do them, like fruit leather and apple dumplings, so that I can share them here. I just need some uninterrupted time to do so.

And now I have another venter…one more person that just needs someone to talk to and I seem to be the only one they can relate to. I should take it as a compliment everyone seems to relate so well to me…it just seems they only relate when they need ears…I need someone to relate to and she is really busy right now.

Its funny how people think that because you stay home you have no commitments. I still have plenty of work to do, I just don’t really get paid to do it. It seems as though people who work would realize that there are times of day when you just can’t talk. If I don’t want last minute phone calls for people needing a sitter or help with something or just to vent, it is not a normal day. Lately, I am feeling like I should be focusing on the Ranch, but I can’t get people to get it through their heads that I am WORKING. Writing a business plan is work…despite what anyone else may think. Crafting and sewing take time and focus and I intend for that to be where I start making money to buy this ranch.

It is nice to sit down and spill some thoughts for you but now I must get back to my productivity. I hope you all have a blessed day…until next time.

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Football and Family

Now, I am not much of a football fan, and I even lived in Wisconsin for a while. If you can live in Wisconsin and come out still knowing nothing about football, it is just not meant to be! However, my husbands cousin is looking to be drafted to the NFL and his team played our team for our homecoming game today, which meant family in town and lots of running. I have been gone all day. It turns out there is a bear in the neighborhood, as seems to be the case this time of year, every year. I think it is an apple thing! I returned home to three wildly fanatic mutts! I wonder how close the bear was to our house. It is a little scary taking my dogs out at night for their last potty of the evening knowing that they would try to chase off a bear if they saw it. I wonder…do bears eat cats? Should I lock my kitties in? They would be pretty unhappy with me if I did that. I am in a strange place. I cannot seem to get myself organized. I am having the hardest time staying on task. I get halfway done changing the laundry, and look up and realize I only unloaded half of my dishwasher…go back to the dishes only to realize I abandoned the laundry halfway through changing it. The weather is changing and whenever that happens my jaw aches so bad….

I have been in this reclusive, alone place. It is a mostly good alone place. Just me and Jesus, but still it is lonely, and I long to talk to an adult who can listen to what I am saying without preconceived notions or thinking I am nutty. My loneliness comes from a feeling that I don’t know how to process, and if anyone shares the feeling, they are not sharing it with me.

I am focused on Rescue Ranch activities. I feel compelled to work on that, and yet, I have no idea what is next, or how to get my focus established. The next three weeks are going to be insanely busy, and then the Holidays come. Ugh! I love the Holidays! Don’t get me wrong, but as I get older, I sit and look at life, and how rapidly it moves, and all I can think is that it just keeps getting busier and busier, no matter how hard I try to get a slower pace established in our lives.

My sick little friend creeps into every thought or action in my day. We got bad news on Tuesday…it’s worst case scenario and her chances of beating it are thirty percent! I am ok. It is on God’s hands, but it just feels like all around me people are surrounded by this horrible horrible stuff, and I am alone in my contentedness, and burdened by the heavy weights that plaque my loved ones.

I want to focus on crafting and making money so I can start looking for land for the Rescue Ranch, but I feel like I am always doing something else. I dream of the day I can move into my Rescue Ranch and bring in a foster child… I feel ready, to start fostering teens. I have been made blatantly aware, in the last few days, how desperately I am needed in that circle.

Bible study was a harsh reminder this week of how few adults understand children in turmoil, and it breaks my hearts. I wish I could teach them all…but I imagine that would break my heart. Parents are so resistant to change. It is amazing how little adults respect children,and some of this stuff is so simple its amazing that we have to be taught. It is almost as if we over-think parenting, and just extending our children the same courtesies we extend strangers and guests would increase their functionality immensely.

I am in the process of trying to write three books and a business plan. I feel overwhelmed by each project, and I cannot seem to pick one to focus on heavily. One of them is less of a written book, and more organizing of charts and stuff. Probably the easiest one to focus on, and part of the crafting for farmers market in the spring plan. I really hope to break into the farmers market this spring. I have discovered a venue where I should be able to sell some of my upcycled crafts… A local venue that only sells locally made goods.

I have been trying to figure out how one makes money doing resource counseling stuff. I imagine I will have to apply for grants, as I clearly can’t charge poor people money to teach them how to get on their feet. How do I charge people for appointments I go to with them. For example, I am really good at advocating a good IEP plan within the schools, and I have helped many people get good IEP plans established for their children. This is a time consuming process that requires me going to the schools for appointments with teachers and counselors and parents. If I don’t find a way to compensate for that, I will not have the time to make the things I need to make to earn money to provide for my ranch. Where would one even go to apply for said grants? Wow! Well, a quick search on the internet gave me hope! There appear to be a lot of social service grants available. I think my first order of business is to set up the business plan, as it will be a useful tool along the way, and I can work on the books no matter where I am living. I did some research on property and loans and I don’t think it will be too difficult to get land when I have raised some money.

I have never been inspired to make earrings before, because I don’t really wear them I suppose, but lately, I have been quite inspired to make them, and I have found some of the cutest ideas! I have been searching through a friends magazines, and also on the internet and man there are some cute and pretty simple earring ideas. I already have my mom and my mother in laws Christmas presents planned. I cannot wait to go out and buy the supplies!

I think I get stuck on a lot of projects because I don’t feel like I have the time to finish a project so I don’t start it. I think it may be one of my procrastinating tools….I have a hard time making myself spend a bunch of time pulling out all my supplies and getting everything set up, only to have to put it away in half an hour…. I must break that habit!

I extended an olive branch in the form of cherry tomatoes today. I have so many, and I have an uncomfortable relationship that is prevalent in my life. We both believe that the other wronged us. We have apparently tried to just ignore it away (never works but I guess I will give it a shot). The air is always thick and quiet between us, and everyone knows but acts like they don’t notice. Tonight I asked her if I could bring her some cherry tomatoes… She looked me in the eye. She got excited. She talked to me like a normal human being and it was nice. I still wish she would apologize, but I bet she feels the same way, and I would not know what to apologize for, so I guess I should leave it at that.

I have an order for two quilts. A family member requested them, and she is buying the materials, but I am making them. I feel like I do all of the things that I want to do for a living, for free, and it kills me. I don’t know how to ask my family to pay me for my time, but it is precious. I have stared to branch beyond my family, and well, have been referred to help strangers now. It is coming to a place where I am going to have to learn how to make money doing these things, and I have no idea how until the ranch is set up.

When I was working on my business plan, it occurred to me that I never planned to pay myself. I just thought that every penny that came out of the ranch would go back in. It was a crazy realization that I could pay myself. My first thought was “Imagine what I could do for the food bank if I had income from the rescue ranch besides just going back into the ranch”! I dream of the day I can go to Costco and buy a truckload of food to donate to the food bank or through the church to the community. maybe I could take half of it to the food bank and half to the church…or better yet, maybe I could do two truckloads! I would also love to help the local soup van. That is our communities alternative to a soup kitchen. It drives around, and stops in certain places around town, and hands out meals to homeless and impoverished. When I asked him how he did it, he just said “Alot of prayers”. WoW! That is some awesome faith right there!

The other day I was thinking…How would you word a prayer for The Lord to just work on everyone’s heart. I asked someone in my Bible Study and she looked at me like she thought I was speaking martian. I was driving to Bible Study, and thinking about all of my friends who are not saved, and well, I just wished it made sense to say “Lord, please just work on everyone’s heart. The world is a dark and scary place and we all need you”. It felt ridiculously obvious and vague all at once and I am not sure what I think of the idea. ‘Well, there is something for you to ponder until next time….It’s getting late here and I must get to bed.

 

 

 

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Emotions and banana bread…

Good morning all, and what a lovely day it is. I have decided that my early morning coffee hours, before everybody gets up and the phone starts ringing for the day, is the best time of day for me to blog. My plan, when planning my routine for the school year, included a very early morning walk with my dogs before anyone got up….but that has not worked out. I am just having too much trouble getting everybody at my house on board with the nighttime routine….which leads to less than efficient mornings. My intention was to get up, walk the dogs while the coffee is brewing, and then come back and make breakfast and get everyone else up, get them out the door for the day, and do my Bible study/coffee/ quiet time. There are a few drawbacks to this plan, the most oobvious being that by the time they are both up and out the door, I am long since done with coffee time,and this is the time of day when the distractions begin…be it the phone, dogs, chores, whatever… It seems to me to be much more prudent to switch these times of day around.  Coffee time in these wee hours when it is still dark (and therefore a tiny bit scary to walk my dogs, especially across the river), makes more sense this time of day, and how logical would it be to walk my dogs when the boys are up…It makes sense, i am already out at the bus with my dogs, and all bundled up and ready to go. today I made a decision to rearrange my am schedule a bit and see if I can’t get those dogs on a consistent routine.

I am trying so hard to establish a routine, but it just seems like there is always something. Everyday seems to have a monkey wrench thrown in. Either school releases early, or dad goes in to work late…Maybe a friend needs a last minute babysitter, and I have to drop my plans for that…whatever the case, it feels like I am constantly throwing my routine out the window for one cause or another, and it is driving me nuts.

I have been emotionally drained in the last week. I have noticed, that the more I appreciate the blessings in my life, the more stable and content I become with my life, the more unhappy people around me seem. I don’t really think they are less happy but I am more content and able to see small blessings much more readily. I have heard so many people complaining about their lives this last couple of months. It makes me quite sad really. It makes me sad to see the state of people. There are very few people who seem really content. Even the people I notice at church, who always seem positive, I realized were doing a whole lot of complaining with smiles on their faces.

I have faced old demons this week, and new ones too… I have decided that I have a responsibility to tell the ladies at Bible Study how I felt when I left last week, and that is going to be hard because I admire every one of those ladies as my elders..wiser and more experienced Christians, but I really feel like this week, they lost something in translation… I often feel as though Christians who were raised as Christians, and have known no other way, have such a different perspective than Christians who had to find their way to The Lord the hard way. I think that Christians who have never known a life without Christ have a harder time finding compassion sometimes. I find that the world is a lot more black and white, and a lot less gray to a lot of them. I do not mean this to be any type of insult…In my Bible Study…there are six women. two of which grew up without Christ,and found Him later, and four of whom have known nothing else. I find that the four who have known nothing  else are a lot more likely to jump to a black and white answer, and the other one who had to find her own way, spends a lot of time nodding in agreement with me as I try to explain to these ladies a different perspective….this week no one was listening and there was a lot of justifying and enabling what appeared to me to be some very non-christian thinking. Remember that these are women I look up to and admire. Some of the things that were said were pretty judgmental, but the thing I noticed most was that the entire time we sat there talking about Philippians 1:9-11, and how to use discernment and sharpen our tools and overflow our love, we were seeing a whole lot of the opposite. I felt like there was a lot of taking away of tools rather than sharpening them…even a little name calling! Whats up with that ladies…are we having a rough week or what? Lets just say it will be hard to confront them, but I think they should hear how I felt when I walked out of that study. Bible study usually lifts me up. Tuesday i walked out feeling confused and judged. One of the ladies even went so far as to say a “slang” phrase without thinking twice or looking up at who was in the room with her. Had she thought about how that comment would have affected me, I doubt she would have ever said it. It was condescending and judgmental and it hit home in a way that she would have known was pretty personal. In fact, knowing what I know of her family, I wonder how her husband feels when she says that, considering that he was not raised in a Christian home and had to find his own way to Jesus as well, this Bible Study is different. We usually have a Beth Moore or some other woman’s small group Bible study to follow. This time we are just doing an individual study with Journals and  leader. I don’t feel like our leader is discerning enough to lead this study. feel as though she needs the perspective of a more mature Christian leading the way. I love and respect her, but it is clear by the amount of discomfort in her life that she is not in a position to lead other people to greater clarity. I noticed instead of growth, I saw a lot of building each other up and confirming it was ok to be stuck in those ruts…Ugh!

I made a big batch of banana bread yesterday, and some dog treats. I am slowly getting back on track, but it has taken over a week since the news of my little friends cancer for me to start to focus on anything productive. It is nice to be back at it and trying to get on track. I am having trouble staying focused but it is getting better, and now the family is waking and it is time for me to wind this down. Until next time…

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What a week

My goodness, what a long road my friend has ahead of her! After finding what appeared to be a kidney tumor on Tuesday of last week, she was rushed to Seattle to have a cantaloupe sized tumor and what was left of her left kidney removed. She has cancer in her lungs and blood….

Thank The Good Lord today was the first day back in Bible Study! I am so glad t is fall. I am physically and emotionally exhausted, and I am trying desperately to stay focused on any task that doesn’t revolve around that poor sick child. Every quiet moment in my day, and even some very daydreamy moments where I just tune out my surroundings, have been filled with prayer and thoughts of love for this family. I find myself halfway through changing the laundry, and look up to see I only halfway unloaded the dishwasher or put away only part of dinner. It’s pretty ridiculous, really, how distracted I am by this little light of love in my life that is burning so dimly today. I got to talk to her today. It was the first time in a week and it felt marvelous! I thought I had a lot to say…but thinking about Miss Stella Blue has left my brain empty again. Until I summon up some more words from the depths of this sadness…

I feel so blessed in my life. I see so many with so much more than me, so unhappy. I see so many with so much less, who could have so much more. I want to pray that God would work on the world as a whole. I wish he would soften everyone’s hearts a little bit, and build compassion to come naturally in all people. I wish it seemed logical to pray for everyone to be saved.

Think how much less disease, famine, and overall sadness there would be in the world if Jesus was the light that led us all…think how powerless Satan would be!

Bible Study was fantastic, but I ran into some hard moments. I feel as though Christians who grew up in and have only known a Christian household have such a different view than a Christian who was raised without knowing the joy of Jesus, and saved later in life. The two perspectives are so different. I am one of two women in my Bible study who were not raised in Christian households. Regardless of different perspectives…I love and cherish every one of the women in my Bible study group! I am so thankful to be blessed by them in my life today!

Tha’ts all for tonight…very scattered and random thoughts today. I hope acupuncture today helped put me back in order. I will know tomorrow. Night all!

 

 

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It is possible to move mountains…

It is possible to move mountains

by moving small stones one day at a time.

We got a probable diagnosis, and this family has a hard road ahead of them. It looks like our girl has a pretty rare cancer, on her kidney. Poor darling. We have a benefit concert in the works and I am going to ask a professional to set up a web page for her. They are on their way to the big hospital where they can get the appropriate care… for a woman who has home birthed both of her daughters, that alone is going to be tough. She was quite excited about her allergy free muffins, and left me with a smile on her face, even if only momentarily. I am sitting here enjoying my delicious mixed fruit leather, and I have a smile on my face. She is going to be ok…we might have to pull her through it every step of the way but she is such a bright, positive little girl…the survival rate if it has not spread is 95 percent. Lovin those odds!

It’s late. I want to get in the habit of doing my Bible study early in the morning, but thus far my morning routine is just not getting established. I am in desperate need of a sit down list making session after the last two days of fog in my brain. Tomorrow I need to focus and get back on task. Looki forward to it so I better head to bed before I can’t get up in the morning.

 

 

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Tis the season to horde fru-uit fa la la la la la la la la

Good morning and welcome! I encourage you to grab a cup of coffee or tea and get comfortable, as I have much to ramble on about today. My last post deleted as I was trying to submit it and I did not have the patience to start over with it. So, I will include that info today as well. It was Apple dumplings. I found the most delicious recipe on Allrecipes.com. I love that web page. I use it a lot. I happen to have two big barrels of crab apples just waiting to be processed. Patiently waiting their turn. And let me tell you they are more patient than a lot of other fruits and vegetables. As I was wandering through allrecipes last week, I noticed an apple dumpling recipe that I happened to have everything I needed to make. I gave it a try. My husband looked skeptical when I told him about them, but he is a changed man. I read the review….it looked great. I am so glad I tried it. Holy cow this is yummy!  here it is  http://allrecipes.com/recipe/country-apple-dumplings/detail.aspx

It is worth your time! I think that is would be good for after school on a cold snowy day or on a holiday morning when you don’t have to be anywhere, but it is a little time consuming to do first thing in the morning….unless you, unlike me, jump out of bed bright eyed and bushy tailed and rearin to go….it might take a little longer than you like. I will still do it in the mornings, because I have plenty of time before my boys get up. Enjoy….

So now that I got last weeks post out of the way…wow what a whirlwind the last few days have been. It seems like tragedy is everywhere. I try to stay positive, look at the bright side, and thank The Lord for my blessings rather than ask for too much, but this week I feel like a beggar. I want to fall down on my knees and plead with Him, and it is purely selfish. I don’t want to lose a loved one. She is darling, sweet, so much like an angel that I am afraid He is calling her home. My best friend, who had a baby ten days ago, was told yesterday, that her five year old daughter has an enlarged spleen. I got some information out of her but she was a wreck. It was not enough for me so I looked it up. There really is no best case scenario. When your spleen is sick, it is because something else is causing it to work to hard…either filtering dead red blood cells or making white ones, or maybe both. What that means is that some unidentified disease is causing her spleen to work to hard. The fact that the spleen could rupture is a secondary emergency, to finding the cause of the defense system being activated so hard. This poor little girl is so much like an angel, and her mother…can you imagine? I ache for them. I want to just hold them as tight as I can and pray it all away. I know The Lord has his reasons….and I know I am being selfish, to an extent. I really don’t want to see this little family hurt so badly. The things they are looking at are things like autoimmune disorders, heart disease, bone marrow or other cancers… it really is quite traumatic. I just got a phone call from the woman I nanny for. She is starting a business that produces homemade, dairy, egg and gluten free baked goods. She is going to bring me a batch of carrot muffins to take to my dear friend. About a year ago my friend developed severe allergies to all three of these things overnight…woke up one morning itchy and purple splotched. Without divulging her entire personal life…she has more on her plate than one could handle without a good support system. All I can do is pray.

On that note, praying… the next topic in my thoughts. I have been in a very good place for a little while now. I have been in very bad places in my life, and while many people would not consider my current place a good one….I feel like I am surrounded by blessings every day. The amount or lack of money in our lives holds no bearing on my ability to feel blessed. I have a roof over my head, plenty of clothes to keep my warm, food when I want it, even if it isn’t what I want at the moment, it is nourishment. I have a fantastic husband and a wonderful son, both of whom love me very much. I have awesome, healthy pets and a few good close friends. I mean really, what more could a girl ask for? I am overflowing with blessings, but being so happy about all the glorious blessings in my life has its downfalls. I often find it hard to talk to people, both Christians and non-Christians seem to be so full of negativity. I used to be the same, but as I have found my joy, I really see it in others. Even when disguised by a smile, most people are complaining, alot of the time. Most of these people have more than I do in terms of wealth possessions. Most of them don’t wonder how they are going to buy groceries next. We always eat well, sometimes I just have to be creative, and some times those meals taste better than anything I have every made. I am blessed. I always have been and as a child I knew it too. Somehow, young adulthood warped me into having a poor me attitude, but through lots of hard work and determination, the happy, blessed me is back! The sermon on Sunday addressed this issue, along with the issue of our prayer life. I feel like most of the time, my needs are met, and when I pray, I find myself spending alot of time saying thank you! I have noticed that other people spend a lot of time asking…that almost an entire prayer is please Lord help with this and bless this and fix this and give me strength…you get the point. I ask for strength and direction to do His will alot, but other than that, aside from personal communications, I mostly just want to tell Him I love Him over and over again. I want to thank Him for making my life turn out so wonderful and for the awesome future I look forward to with Him. This came up in church on Sunday and I felt like I knew exactly what the Pastor was saying. I feel uncomfortable listing the favors that I want from God. He has a plan, I just want Him to help me understand why? It is not natural to me to list the things I would like Him to “fix”. I assume they are just the way He wants them for the moment. Today, I feel like a beggar. My best friends child is sick and I want to plead for her life, even though I know she would be better off with Him anyway. Don’t get me wrong, she has a great life, but c’mon now, who can compete with Heaven?

I traded some babysitting last week for some food…peaches in particular. A ton of them. I have been processing peaches for days! I decided not to can them. We have a bunch of canned peaches, so I dehydrated them, and made fruit leather. It is taking forever but the house smells deliciously peachy. I am hording fruit. We eat some much of it here. It is by far a favorite snack in our house fresh, frozen, or canned we eat a lot of fruit…and tis the season to horde and process it at a good price (free or nearly free). I then use the horded fruit to make fruit leather, add to hot cereal, or cold if you like. We eat fruit fresh and frozen with cream over it, we eat it in baked goods and as a side dish with our dinners.

I am working on putting up the garden just as fast as I can process food…

Last night we had our first hard frost…

I have done a lot more research on Rescue Ranch logistics and I have a much better idea where I stand financially, and what is reasonable for me to expect, as well as more info on what kinds of licenses and permits I will need. I have spent a little time researching venues to sell at and what their requirements are.

I had better get that care package ready to take to my friend…her muffins will be here soon. Until next time…have a blessed day!