Delightfully dreary days…
Oh, what a delightfully dreary day it is! Woke up to snow and rain this morning, and could NOT be happier about it! Our air has been acrid with smoke for months. Its fairly warm out, the tomatoes and pumpkins are doing fine in the snow. Such a strange dynamic mountain life has, but OH, so refreshing. I am hanging out in fuzzy pajamas this morning, drinking a wonderfully warm cup of coffee, and watching fall happen out my window. My chest feels light with relief, and my heart is fluttering with joy and uplifting hope. Something about Fall in the mountains that just takes your breath away. The last few days have been outstanding. I battled and battled with a strange depression since I came back from my vacation a few weeks back. It finally broke, and I have relief, a sense of hope and joy, and a renewed direction.
There are a lot of things on my mind. I am having trouble sorting what I would like to talk about today. I have a had a lot of clarity the last few days, and I find hope in a new direction. Well, there is nothing new about it. It has been whispering in my ear, at times, even screaming, for my attention, and I keep blowing it off. I finally heard it this weekend, that path, calling me. It was profound and clear as a bell. I have been pursuing a dream, a mission really, called Rocky Mountain Rescue Ranch, for many years now. It’s intention is to help underprivileged community members get the support network they need to not be underprivileged any more. It is designed to teach people how to advocate for themselves, to get and keep a decent job, to get people stable enough to take care of themselves, long term, and to help place unwanted animals into the proper homes for them. It is a Christian environment, built to glorify God, as it was His wish that I do this. It is my intention, to honor His destination for me. I am sure He gets frustrated with me. I get it wrong. A LOT. Still, it is humbling that He trusts me enough to lead me to the underprivileged.
I have searched and searched for what is next. I have kept my eyes and ears peeled for every sign of where I belong. In my depression, I had some huge realizations. I attacked my clutter head first, and man does that feel great. Its still a work in progress, but every single day, the progress makes a difference in my life. I am slowly getting my organization and sense of calm back. I had the epiphany that hoarders are rarely, if ever, successful. Its just too chaotic to get anything done efficiently. It feels nice to be taking back my space.
My son was involved in a community service event this weekend. I went along, and it was a fantastic time. A blast was had by all. He did box city. Box city is a nationwide event, in which participants raise money and then sleep in a box in the park to raise awareness about homelessness. It brought tears of sadness and joy to my eyes. So nice to be with so many people who all hurt for the same kinds of things I hurt for. So nice to be actively trying to make a difference in the things that cause so much hurt, on a basic humanitarian level. I really hate to see ANYONE suffer. There is a bond among the participants at an event like that. A general understanding about the spirit of your neighbor. A safety. Oh….its so amazing, it really is beyond words. I am lucky to live in a community that puts community first, and I watched that blessing unfold beautifully his weekend. I also heard, loud and clear, the voice that has been whispering to me. I knew that it was time to back off from spay/neuter a little. I didn’t resign, I just handed a piece of my responsibility. I did open a lot of space in my life with that one little responsibility though, and two days later, I heard the voice again, this time over a loudspeaker, at a non profit event for the homeless. Duh! One thing I wondered is where I would find the families for my transitional housing program, for my “internships’. I figured the answer would come when it was time to know, so I put it on a back burner, and waited for a simmer. Today, I have answers to both of those questions, and I know where my services are needed next. How I will work with this non profit group to enhance a very beautiful program that already exists, and how they will help my program to grow and thrive. I look forward to contacting them, but I feel a strong call to get my home in the order it belongs before I do anything new. Oh the hope and joy….the anticipation of what may come. What a delightful place it is to be on this oh so dreary Rocky Mountain Fall day! Keeps me focused. Keeps me on task. Keeps me daydreaming about the days to come. I look forward to the journey.
I want to write a post on basic human rights. Many people don’t even know what they are, so I feel it is important. However, its taking me a minute to wrap my brain around that, so watch for it. Meanwhile, may blessings my friends. May you all feel the joy and renewal of the season. Until next time…..