Oh how lifted up I feel. I spent a couple weeks in a turmoil fueled by anger. I fought and fought, but just couldn’t seem to get out of that funk. I finally sat down and wrote a very long, very humbling prayer. The next two days held a series of challenges and changes, and now I feel as though I have returned. I have spent my day in deep conversation with a very dear friend who has been struggling with what she believes for so long. It was a fabulous day! We discussed God’s light and love. We discussed the roles of wives and husbands, and where God stands in it all. Most women are so reluctant to understand the idea of submitting to their husbands. Our church happened to present it in a way that made total and perfect sense to me. A sense of freedom. A freedom that most people cannot even grasp. My girlfriend was so excited to learn about the proverbs 31 woman. She was thrilled at the idea of becoming a woman after God’s heart. I was so incredibly thrilled to hear all of this. She wants a man who puts God first, but realizes she has to be a woman of God to find that. I am so incredibly excited for her! She is beginning the journey of her lifetime!
Meanwhile, after spending a day talking about God’s love and light, well, I must say, I feel absolutely lifted up as well. I am looking forward to the next few weeks, and so incredibly thankful that I was able to ask God for help finally. It has been a really long two weeks. Argh!
He was there, just like He always promises, with a hedge of protection, just waiting for me to ask for it. After two days of checking myself and making sure I was remembering the very simple things that I know deeply and took for granted, well, I feel like myself again! Oh man…it has been long. Thank You, Father, for pulling me from the wreckage! Immediately the ways in which I am so used to doing my work for Him started to pop up in my life again. Immediately, I have calls and messages coming in with questions about the Bible. I have a respite client (and oh! Thank you that they didn’t need me the last two weeks, as I have not represented so poorly in quite some time). I am crafting, beading, cooking, cleaning, and baking again. I am writing and keeping up with my responsibilities. Oh, it feels so good to be back!
I am looking forward to the next couple months, and getting started on that rescue ranch. I am really excited about an abundant garden, a clothesline, simple things.
A little canary has adopted me. I think it is a canary. It is most certainly a tiny house bird, and it is very pretty. It is also banded. It comes up on my porch whenever I am outside and talks to me. It sits on the plant hanger and talks and talks to me. I believe it is asking me for help, and I am going to get a cage and invite it in when I get back from my trip home. My neighbor agreed to feed it for me while I am gone. I am going to try to find its home, it is a banded bird, and I bet someone is looking for it. Oh it is so pretty, and there is no way it will make it through the winter here. This bird has been a gentle reminder of God’s compassion for the last few days, and I think it came to remind me what I am supposed to be doing…
This little bird captivates me, but it feels different than the average bird, and even my dog takes notice when it lands in the bird feeder. She shows no interest in the doves and chickadees and finches feeding in that feeder, but when that little house bird shows up, she also becomes captivated by that feeder. I am glad the bird knows that this is a safe place. It makes me feel safe that God trusts me with His little ones.
I am so excited about the journey that awaits me the next few months. I cannot wait to see the ranch home that God blesses us with, and meet my first foster child. I am excited about my garden and crafting space and chickens too, but first, I have to go home and see mom. I am VERY excited about my journey back to the place I once called home next week. This weekend should be very nice, we are going to hit the state fair to celebrate some birthdays, and then when we come back, hubby will head off back to work, and I will spend the next four days getting all my affairs in order to leave for a week and a half. I am not sure about my cats. I will have to keep them locked up in the house, but that means having someone over to feed them and clean the boxes…the one person I feel really comfortable asking that of, is not going to be in the area at the time. I have faith it will work out. That week is going to come and go so fast, and then I come home and redirect for a whole new journey.
Oh how I have longed for that path. I have waited and waited. I have researched and daydreamed, and written countless words about that day, and it is so close. Mostly, today I am filled with God’s love, and I am just happy to be here.
Blessings my friends…until next time.