Some pretty unhappy people in the world today. I look around me and feel so sad for the ones who are so full of judgement and condemnation. To me, that is a clear sign of their distress. I don’t know how many times I have talked about expectation and shoulding, but it appears I am about to again.
Folks, no one will see things the same way you do every time. Perspectives are similar to fingerprints in that no two peoples are the same. We are shaped by different experiences, different personalities, different responses to trauma and stimuli.
Let me make this as clear as I can.
HEALTHY, HAPPY PEOPLE, DO NOT SPEND THEIR TIME CRITIQUING AND JUDGING OTHERS!
Good grief the hate is strong these days. I am seriously just lonely for people who can live life with contentment and peace, while lifting people up, rather than tearing them down.
I used to feel defensive. I used to want to stand up to the haters. But my perspective has changed. I do not seek confrontation. What would I say to someone so filled with anger, grief, shame, hatred, and/or resentment? People who are content and happy with their lives do not go around treating others this way. Social media is especially conducive to such harsh judgments, as people don’t have to face any real life consequences for their mean behavior.
But here’s the thing. Happy people, healthy people, they wont be judging you. They will be lifting you up. Offering helpful advice. Using their empathy. Understanding that we all have different circumstances and perspectives.
I watched a group of “empaths” attack another woman for saying that she isn’t attracted to animals today. It hurt my heart to see so many people claiming to be “healers and lightworkers” tearing someone down like that. Telling her she wasn’t an empath and didn’t belong in the group. Feels a bit like a “check the log in your own eye” kind of moment honestly. I watched their judgement and condemnation with pity for them. Thinking so high of themselves when they can’t see the glaring truth of their misery and how they are allowing their unhealed cuts to bleed on those who haven’t hurt them.
It hurts my heart to see people being so mean and judgmental of each other. Why are we lashing out at one another? We must make an effort to heal ourselves, and try not to concern ourselves so much with the behaviors of people we have never even met, and never will. It goes for personal relationships too, but I am talking about the uninhibited urge to just start demeaning and belittling someone who doesn’t think or act just like we do.
Happiness, contentedness, joy, whatever you want to call it, comes from within us, not from other people modifying their behavior to accommodate us. The more someone lashes out, the meaner they are, the more sadness I feel for them. So afraid to face their own demons that they have to distract themselves by attacking others who are just posing an innocent question. Why do we as humans feel so compelled to expect others to behave how we think we would, when most of us aren’t even happy with who we are?
It is our responsibility to seek the healing we require. It is our responsibility to be accountable for ourselves. It is not our responsibility to tell others how to live. It is not our responsibility to judge, shame, and bully others into thinking that our way of thinking is the only right way. If we go around thinking that if others just thought and behaved differently, we would be happy, then we are in for a world of shock and hurt when reality hits. Nobody is capable of making us happy. Nobody is capable of healing our wounds, or padding the world so we can hide from them forever.
WE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN HEALING. WE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN HAPPINESS.
No one can do it for us.
And while we are healing, there is no reason we can’t be kind and empathetic to what others are going through. As a matter of fact, you might be surprised at how far a little kindness goes in healing your own damaged self. Its pretty amazing the transformation that takes place in us when we replace judgement and hatred with kindness and compassion.
Next time you feel compelled to shame, belittle, or insult someone, maybe consider what is in your own self that is causing you to lash out at others, and maybe, just maybe, try to find a little empathy and kindness for them instead.
The amount of healing that takes place when we replace the hatred with love is indescribable.
The amount of healing that takes place when we respond with compassion rather than judgement is not something you can imagine until you have experienced it.
Just humor me and try it. Next time you feel like lashing out at someone. Judging them. Shaming them. Telling them they don’t belong in your group. Try responding with love instead. See how it increases the joy in your own heart. Hatred and judgement do not increase joy, for anyone. They increase the hatred and judgement. If you want a healthier world, start with yourself, and check your hate at the door. If you want a healthier world, focus on lifting people up, finding empathy and compassion, and treating them with love. It will change you. It will make you happier. It will make you healthier. It will steal less of your limited time and joy on this Earth. If for no ones sake but your own, try love. It feels so much better than hate. Try compassion. It adds so much more to life than judgement does. Try empathy. It is good for ones heart to put ourselves in anothers shoes for a moment of reflection.
Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be accepted and fit somewhere. Think about how you would hope to be treated, and then treat others as well as you would want to be treated.
Just try it. Check the hate and try Love. It will transform you.