Hello my friends. Today quiet is the word of the day. I feel so incredibly quiet. It seems unsafe everywhere. Best to just keep your mouth shut and keep to yourself. I am torn between wanting to be a force of fierce love and light in this time, and wanting to go into a dark corner and lick my own wounds. I will admit, I am hurt. I am hurt by a general outpouring of hatred toward anyone who did not vote Hillary. I am hurt by the name calling and judgement I woke up to on my social media pages yesterday. I was hurt by feeling more threatened and judged than I ever did when the candidates were actually running. I am amazed by the hypocrisy of the judgement and vileness, to a point words can barely sum up what I feel like I am seeing. To the point it seems so obviously and ludicrously hypocritical that I feel like we don’t even need words to point it out. If you thought our presidential candidates were an international embarrassment, well boy, it feels like the goal now is to top that. It feels like those who voted for Hillary have condemned every one of us who didn’t vote the way they wanted.

I have heard a myriad of reasons why I didn’t vote for her.

“You are afraid to be led by a woman”

“You are rebelling against a black establishment”  (Ummm. I don’t understand this one in the least as Hillary is white)

“You are uneducated”

“you are an apathetic voter who doesn’t care who wins if you voted third party”

I could keep going, but what a waste of space it would be. The point still remains, that the accusations now standing against everyone who didn’t vote Democratic are offensive, and they challenge my intelligence.

Guess what? I voted with conscious. I put months and weeks and days and hours into my research and education about who I wanted to vote for. What if I just do not agree with her policies? What if I truly educated myself, didn’t want her as my choice for president, and voted consciously, for the person I most related with when it came to proposed policies? Do I not have a right to vote outside of your parameters without being shamed and bullied about it?

What if I truly stood behind my vote, believed in it, and felt strongly that I made the best choice I could. What if it had nothing to do with her gender? What if it had nothing to do with her race, religion, or status?

What if I felt like I had a right to vote my conscious and stand proudly for the country I believe in and our right to our own opinion?

I must say, as the votes started rolling in, and the tables were turning, it shocked and offended me when the news anchors started talking about people throwing away their vote if they went third party. That it was apathetic and careless. I was horrified that news anchors covering a national election had the gall to bully people for not voting within the parameters of their expectations. I feel that there is so much bullying going on. It is sickening. It is ugly. It is the real problem with this country. Why do we feel we have a right to bully people who didn’t vote as we wished they would? To call them names because they checked a different box than you?

The drama in the aftermath of this election feels like high school teens overreacting. Immediate meltdown. Total over the top worst case scenario drama. It is like we forgot to put on our rational thinking caps and just lost it. What will we tell our children? We will tell them the same things we told them before the election took place. We will continue to discuss important matters with them as candidly and honestly as we always have. Just because we have a new president does not mean that you change who you are. It means if he says something stupid we talk to our kids about why it was stupid and why we don’t agree with him. Everyone is saying they are scared. Scared everyone is going to be deported. Scared they are going to lose all of their rights. Scared of sexism, racism, and bigotry. Look around folks. These things existed long before the president elect did. We the people are responsible for assuring that our cultural values are upheld.

In all honesty, I too, was terrified of either candidate becoming our next president, but it happened, and my gut instinct is that as an American it is my duty to stand behind whomever runs this country, fight against policies I disagree with, and for the change that I want to see. I held my breath too, but when it was all said and done, I was able to accept this future and try to find a ray of hope and positivity.

Nothing is changing overnight. The president still has to follow a chain of checks and balances. I woke yesterday to half the country acting as if Armageddon had arrived and the world was ending right now! In all of history, it is a normal balance for our country to alternate between liberal and conservative leaders. People are not happy. They are ready for a different kind of change. This is a normal ebb and flow and in four or eight or twelve years there will be another upset and the Dems will take over again. The majority of us are adults and have seen a dozen or more presidential elections in our lifetime, how do we not know this cycle yet?

I believe that Trump has a foul mouth and fails to censor himself sometimes, but as much as my gut reaction when he started running was to fear him, I have hope. I think he is probably a better person privately than media has portrayed. He is a successful business man and well, now, technically, a successful politician. He did, after all, win the presidency. Anyone with business experience knows it takes a certain amount of political finesse to be successful in business, and I have hope that we will see the best of his political finesse. I hope that he will take serious, the American people, and vow to represent us in the best way he can. No, I didn’t want Trump, Hillary, or any other candidate available for president, but now that he is elected, I will be the best American I can be and support him, just like I would if Hillary had won. When I disagree with him, I will sign the right petitions and join the fights that I feel call me. I am not an apathetic voter. I did my research, but I am not about to sit back and listen to the name calling and harassment and accusations of ignorance.

For a group of people who voted for tolerance and equality, they sure are behaving very intolerant and judgmentally.

So what do I do? Do I remain focused on being a force of fierce love and light, putting my opinions out there for people who call me privileged or say that I have rights and they don’t?

My gut instinct is to be defensive. To tell them all about my so called privilege. That would only instigate bickering and defensiveness.

If I hide, I lose. I separate myself from my countrymen and neighbors. If I stand up for my personal convictions I am berated.

I want to be a force of love.

My gut instinct is to keep to myself and God this week. To avoid this political backlash and turmoil like the cancer it is.

God says. Go be a force of love and light.

Please Father, give me strength….