The calling?

After looking back at my last two weeks, I find myself being called to face the Rocky Mountain Rescue Ranch earnestly. I suppose I should give you all a background on what exactly, the RMRR is. Several years ago, I was in a terrible place. Rock Bottom, I would say. I was a single mother, doing all I could to survive, and raising a child whom, unbeknownst to me, had several neurological and sleep disorders. I was bright, driven, and hard-working, yet I never seemed to be able to make anything work out. No matter how hard I tried I just kept failing. Someone finally recognized some of my sons symptoms and suggest that I get him tested, so I did. Wow, that opened a whole world of perspective for me. Meanwhile, I had developed a great mentorship relationship with a lovely Christian elder whom I could not get enough of. I didn’t understand his Christian views but he never condemned me or told me I was going to hell, and we developed a wonderful bond. Our daily conversations came to an abrupt end when I had to leave the ranch job unexpectedly. He and I still maintain contact, but much, much less frequently. He did, however, change my heart. When my child was diagnosed and I was in a real need of help, I went to a local church a couple times because I could not justify asking them for help without actually understanding and trying to believe in their God. What I found was salvation.

The people in this church were not like the people in churches I had been to in my childhood. They were amazing. So full of love and uplifting words. I could not believe that these near strangers seemed to care so much for me.   I went home after visiting this church twice, sat at the foot of my bed crying, and put my hands up as I told God that I give up. I am tired of fighting and I can’t do this myself anymore so I was giving it all to Him, and trusting Him with my life. My next question was “what now?” and the video slide show that played in my head is beyond description with words, so here I sit today, convinced that I know exactly what God wants me to do with my life. I also wonder how He expects little ole me, single mommy with no assets, to get this immensely huge project accomplished. I have faith, though, that He can make anything happen. It is clear how my past and my experiences have prepared me for this venture, but financially….how?

So, I started doing some research, and every time I got discouraged, I swept the idea under the rug for a few weeks and delved into some other project. I am overwhelmed at the idea of creating this ranch for my dear Lord, but I am also thrilled at the notion.

This week, I believe that He has directed me to focus. I believe He has told me that it is time for me to focus on slowly and steadily creating His ranch, and so, this week I start the Business plan. It is overwhelming and tedious. I have to think through the boring black and white of it, and when I get to a hard question, I want to just close it up and fantasize about the fun stuff, but I am slowly and diligently working away at it, and praying He keeps me strong, focused, creative, and resourceful. I intend to share my journey with you as I trudge through the muck of a business plan and joys of creating this little safe haven in Montana. I hope you find as much pleasure in my upcoming travels as I do, and I hope you may be able to gain from my trials, errors, and triumphs. I will begin to post some of my research and lessons as I go…..I have finally grasped the concept of God’s humor, and I hope He doesn’t use me too much for your enjoyment, but I am happy to share both the good and the bad. Hopefully everyone can take away a tidbit from my journey. Welcome friends.